I want to hug the scale, then kick it

  Today is the last day of January, and I pretty much weigh myself everyday. Like for real, every. single. day. When I get up and before I go to bed. When I was in Florida for the Dopey Challenge I didn't have a scale. But I wasn't all the concerned because I knew I was burning big amounts of calories. You know what's awesome about being a distance runner? Carbs! I love carbs and for that week I loaded up on them and I didn't care. I knew what I weighed before I left, but I wasn't sure what to expect when I got home.
   So I got home, cuz obviously if I am typing this then the plane did not crash as I feared it would, and I weighed myself. Before bed, like I know you aren't supposed to do. But the scale was kind to me and told me I was down 4 pound. Pretty sweet deal, I'll take it. I was determined not to undo that 4 pound loss, so I worked really hard at watching what I ate for the next week because I knew I was not going to be working out. It was hard, giving up the carbs. I really love carbs! But, I did well and the scale loved me some more. One week later I had lost another 4 pounds. I thought the scale was playing tricks on me so I weighed myself a few times just to make sure. Sure thing, down 8 pounds since before vacation.
    The next weekend I didn't control what went into my mouth so much. It's really hard for me when my husband is around. He suggests pizza and I'm like ok I'm in. I love carbs! So by Monday I had gained back 2 of those hard lost pounds. Total sad face, but I can't be mad, I did it to myself. I knew the consequences. I have started running again, and Ashley and I are working out together 2 days a week. I like having set days to do it where I know she is waiting for me because it keeps me accountable and makes me do it. It's easy to just skip a workout when no one is bugging you to do it. So I easily dropped the 2 pound weekend gain.
    And then I stepped on the scale again...who am I kidding, I never skipped a day. That would be outrageous! And some more weight came off! So, since before I left for Disney on January 6th, I am officially down 12 pounds! I am so freaking excited, but at the same time grumpy because it is now the weekend again. I love the weekend, but, as you may have figured out, I also love carbs. I know that most people say that an obsession with the scale is a bad thing, but not for me. It keeps me on track. I hate to see that number go up, so if I monitor it on the daily, then I know what's going on. I also know that there will be fluctuations, I'm no fool. I don't freak out over a gained pound from morning to evening. I also know that if I eat carbs, I will gain weight.
   That being said, it has been a hard few weeks, I've had to plan ahead and keep crap away. I've had to watch Parker eat pizza while I enjoy a salad. I did have a few chips, and some skittles. (come on, they released a new orchard flavor pack, had to try it) but even so, managed to still lose. But now, I am sitting here on a Friday night and I WANT PIZZA AND PASTA AND BREAD like you would not believe!
  I am so close to hitting the 40 pound total weight loss mark that I can almost taste it! (It doesn't taste like shoving my face full of carbs, just incase you are wondering) But let me tell you, this battle sucks! Like big time! I wish I could just be one of those people that could eat all the things and not look like they eat all the things. Even though I can fit into jeans I haven't worn in years, and dresses that I have never been able to wear, it's not all daisies and sunshine. It's hard work and sweat and pain and going to bed craving junk food. I would love to give my scale a big hug for being kind to me and rewarding my efforts, but then I would like to kick it because I am a slave to those numbers and probably always will be.