That thing that I did...almost part 3

Yeah, I know, a part 3! I can't help it, a week of adventure is just too much to put into one post. By Saturday Morning we were getting to be pros at the pre race rituals. Get in van, go to Epcot, wait obscene amounts of time, then run. Saturday was the half marathon, 13.1 miles! (Not really a huge deal, I've already done 2 before) The starting area was in a different spot than before, and we had to walk 20 minutes to get there. No joke, it really was that long of a walk there. Then of course we had to wait... and wait some more.

Disney knows how to do things, even in the 2nd to last corral we got fireworks at the starting line! The energy and support at Disney is incredible! Actually, in all of Florida it was amazing! Everyone that we talked to that found out why we were there and what we were doing was so supportive and positive about it. We wore our medals while we were at Magic Kingdom and the congratulations we got were awesome! And it was only the 10k at that point. That's like a shorter run for me now. (Man I remember when I thought I wouldn't survive a 5k)

Half way point selfies! (So many selfies this week!)

Finish line photo, not a selfie, got some guy on a bench to take it for us. Thanks Ashley for sending me this one!

More selfies of me and my medal. I know I've done 2 half marathons before this, but it was still quite an accomplishment for me! Not too long ago I never would have thought that I could finish a half. I'm not saying I'm fast or anything, I'm really slow, but I will continue to work and get better and better. It's actually getting to be a distance that I enjoy doing now. Plus you almost always get a medal for doing a half so that's even more awesome!

 

After the half we didn't do a whole lot. Took a little nap, ate some food, and went to bed. I think it was like 7p.m. when and we were both asleep. Yeah, we're old, we can't party like we used to. (Who am I kidding, Ashley and I have never partied) But, we had a super early wake up, I think it was 2:45am...IN THE MORNING!!!

 

So we got up and got ready and got in the van to go to Epcot. Then we walked the 20 minutes to our starting line for the super long wait. But it was the last time so it was ok. We were smart by then, we found a spot and sat down. No need to stand for the whole time. This is the point at which I began to wonder. What the hell was I thinking? What have I gotten us into? Why am I here? But I told my brain to shut up. 26.2 miles to go and it would all be done. I would have done what I came to Disney to do. My knee was already bugging me after we finished the half on Saturday. But I figured it would be ok. It was just sore, I had never done so many miles in a weekend before. Suck it up and keep moving. I have a way of getting into my own head. But not this time, I was determined to do this. I know very well that running is a very mental thing. My first half I wanted to quit so badly. It would be so easy to just give up. No one would be surprised, I'm fat, they would expect it from me. But I pulled together everything I had and I finished that half. Then I went on to do another one and another one. So at the starting line of this full marathon, with 26.2 miles in front of me, I was ready. I was sore, but I was ready. I had a plan for staying hydrated and fueled so I had the energy. And I had Ashley. All I had to do was keep up with Ashley. We started this together, we finish this together.  Yeah, that lasted 4 miles. I couldn't keep up with her. She was going at this easy pace and not even breaking a sweat, and I was in tons of pain and exhausted. I just kept pushing myself as fast as I could and trying to ignore the pain in my knee. I kept moving and didn't stop. Through the weekend I had learned how to drink at the water stops without stopping or spilling on myself. I kept seeing the mile markers and I thought I can do this, just 17 more miles. Only 15 more miles, no big deal. I stopped at a medical tent and put some bio freeze on my knee in hopes that it would help. But it didn't. It just made my knee feel all minty fresh and tingly, but it still hurt like hell. There was a point when I remember thinking that it had hurt less to give birth to my son, and I did that with no pain killers. I was maxed out on Tylenol, I had tried the biofreeze, and I was still in so much pain. I wanted to cry, but I did not want to stop. I knew all I had to do was stay in front of the balloon ladies. Those are ladies walking with balloons and if they pass you, you can get swept up at any time and will not be allowed to finish because you were too slow. All I had to do was keep moving and not get swept. I couldn't even see the balloon ladies so I was fine. Mile 11....mile 12... mile 13 around mile 13 it started to rain. Great, rain...oh well, I'm already covered in sweat, what does it matter. At the 13 mile mark they told me and those around me that we were about 6 minutes ahead of pace. 6 minutes in front of the balloon ladies, ok, I got this. There were still a lot of people around me so I wasn't too afraid, I was keeping up with people so it was ok. But it hurt so bad. We went into Animal Kingdom and people were starting to go into the park to spend their day. They stopped to cheer us on, it was awesome! Around one of the curves I caught sight of a white tent. I knew it was a medical tent and I thought sweet, maybe they can wrap my knee up a bit, the support might help me out. I didn't have time to waste. So when I got there, I told a lady that I was having a lot of pain in the back of my knee. She said she had seen me coming towards the tent and it looked like I was in pain. I didn't have full range of motion and I couldn't put weight on it without experiencing massive amounts of pain. She told me that she highly advised me not to continue. At some point you have to accept what your body is telling you. I knew she was right. I had a lot of distance to cover yet, and at the rate I was going I would get swept up. So I had to accept defeat, and there at mile 13.9 I got on the medical bus and threw up my white flag. I wasn't the only one, the bus was pretty full. Injuries of all sorts had claimed runners. There was a guy with blood coming out of the top of his shoe, I'm pretty sure he was worse off than me.

 

But, I got me a nice ice wrap and it felt pretty good! Or it numbed the pain, whatever, it helped that's all that mattered. When we got off the bus they gave us one of those fancy race blankets made of aluminum foil and they also gave us our marathon medal. I didn't expect to get one since I hadn't finished the marathon, but they felt we deserved them. At this point I am looking at it as a half marathon medal because I did do more than a half marathon before my knee got the best of me.

 

I had a long time to wait for Ashley to finish, it turns out when I was getting my knee wrapped up she had passed mile 15 so even in my injured state I guess I was making pretty good time. I tried to get close to the finish line, but it was super packed. It rained for quite awhile so there was no dry place to sit down. I ended up waiting past the gear check tent. I had a lot of time to think. And to get angry with myself. I was so mad that I had gotten hurt. But I was even more mad that I didn't finish. I kept hearing people walk around with their medals clanking together and I'm not afraid to admit, I cried. By not finishing the marathon I didn't get the goofy challenge medal or the dopey challenge medal. I didn't do what I had come to Disney to do. I was so disappointed. I had failed. When Ashley finished I was so happy for her. But I can't lie, I was jealous. She finished, she got all 6 medals and got to go home and say she did it. I got to come home and say I failed. But, I'm fat, people expect me to fail at these kind of things. Even so, would have been nice to prove them wrong. But, I failed because of my knee, I didn't fail because I gave up. And that means something to me. There was a time not too long ago that I would have just quit and let them pick me up for being to slow. But not any more. I don't get in my own head so bad anymore.

 

This is me and the 4 medals I did earn. And that is my mt dew. It was my reward for the weekend. After we got home and I picked Parker up from school I went to buy it and I was so excited to have it. Then I took 2 small drinks out of it and dumped it out. It was nasty and it hurt my stomach. So, 30 some miles in a weekend, and I couldn't even enjoy the reward I had promised myself. Sound about right, that's how it goes.

 

Monday we flew home. Well, from Orlando to Detroit then to Milwaukee then met our ride and then were home. It was awful to come back to the cold weather, but it was worth it to give my boy a giant hug. I didn't want to let him go. But, he is at that point where it's not cool to hug mom, so I let go. He was pretty excited by my medals. He thinks I'm like a super hero or something. I tell him all the time that I'm not. That everyone gets the medals for the races not just the fastest ones. But he still thinks I am awesome. I'll take it. Tuesday I went back to work. It sucked. I couldn't walk normally my knee still hurt a ton. Today sucked pretty badly as well. I played the suck it up game and did my best to walk normally. It sucked. It hurt. I wanted to cry. But, it hurts a little less everyday so I am hopeful that it is on the mend and I will be able to run again shortly. So I did that thing that I set out to do...almost. I didn't finish it, but I also didn't quit. I'm not sure what is next in store for me, but I'm sure it will involve more running and more shiny medals. It really doesn't get old looking at them hanging on the wall. Yeah I'm egotistical like that, they all hang in my dining room. I worked hard for them, they mean a lot to me, damn right I will display them.