Last Weekend (In words and pictures)

I know, thrilling title. There were actually a few others that went through my head, for example, I suck, Stomach Projectilings, migrane from Hades....if you read this whole post you will understand.

Last weekend was a very busy and cram packed weekend for me. There are some weekends where I have nothing going on, and there are some weekends where I don't have a minute to think. This past weekend was one of those crazy weekends and for the most part it was pretty great. After work Saturday morning I picked Parker up from my grandma's house, and we went home. I right away started with cleaning and getting ready for his birthday party the next afternoon. I started baking the cake, I decided to make it myself just because....well, why not?

That's the batter before it got baked, pretty cool huh?

While I was baking and getting things done, my bestie Ashley texted me and said that her and her little man were going to go snow shoeing at our local nature center in a few hours and invited Parker and I to join them. I knew I had a lot to get done, but I have never been snow shoeing before and I really wanted to go. So I decided that if I got all three parts of the cake baked in time that we would go. Cakes finished baking just in time for me to change my clothes and us to head out the door. So, snow shoeing we went.

I have to admit, it got a little long and it was a bit colder than I would have liked, but it really was a blast! Parker had a great time and he said he wants to do it again! I have realized since my bestie moved back home, how many things we have right at our finger tips that can get us out and active and still be a great fun family activity. I always love our play dates! After we got home from snow shoeing we were pretty pooped. I made some supper while Parker warmed up.

After supper he pretty much zonked out within 5 minutes. I took a 2 hour or so nap then got up and went back to work on my cake. It was about 4a.m. when I got to bed, and had the alarm set for 7am Sunday morning. Because of course, what should you do before a birthday party? You should run a 5k that's what! So that's what Ashley and I did. We participated in the 1st Annual Schneelauf run in Elkhart Lake. It was actually a pretty decent day out, about 28 degrees and not too windy, but there was not the sunshine that there was supposed to be so it was still pretty darn cold. I have added another shirt to my collection of runing shirts, and completed another run in my year of runs! I cannot lie, I am dissappointed in this run though. I came in 2nd last. There was only 1 other runner after me and it was an older gentleman. I knew pretty much the whole time that I was almost last and I wanted to quit. I wanted to just stop and walk off and take a shortcut back to the ending spot. But I knew that my bestie was there waiting for me. I also knew that this was the smallest run that I had ever been in, there were only 101 runners and a handful of walkers. Also, about a mile in I got this shooting pain through my brain. I have suffered from migranes for a long time, but this was a killer. And it struck at the worst time possible! I mean really, a mile into my run? So I pushed through, and I had to walk at times, but I did not stop and I did not quit. I finished, and I actually ended up cutting just over a minute off of my January 5k time. I know that I shouldn't be dissappointed, I cut a minute off my time even with the migrane from Hades. But, noone wants to finish that close to the end. I mean, 2nd last at 26 and the only person after me was in his 50's? But you know what, I was out there, I did it. I am working to make the changes in my life so that I can run that whole 5k someday. So that I don't come in last or 2nd last. So that when I am in my 50's I can run a 5k and maybe be the inspiration to that person chugging along at the end feeling badly about themselves.

So, here it is, my 3rd run in my year of runs, and I'm already signed up for the next one in March. I hope to cut some more time off and I'm also hoping for some warmer weather.

 

After the run we headed back home. I jumped in the shower, then set out getting the rest of the things ready for Parker's birthday party. Here is where I have to start giving thanks, pretty much every person that walked into my house got put to work. I have some awesome friends and family! I got to see a friend that I used to work with, I feel really special that she took the time to drive almost an hour to celebrate my son with me!!! Nara, you rock!!!

Parker had a magician themed party, so of course I had magic candles. Surprisingly he took it pretty well and just kept blowing them out. There was one that just kept relighting it was pretty hilarious!

 

For the entire party I still had my massive headache, and it was making me feel really not great at all. I had one taco to eat, and could not even eat a piece of cake. I took one bite.

 

****Disclosure, not for the weak of stomach****

Those of you that left the party earlier than others, consider yourself lucky. All of a sudden my feeling not great turned into feeling really not great and I knew there was going to be puke. Let's just say it was not pretty all across my kitchen floor, in the bathroom, and I somehow managed to make a stunning spray across the wall that I still haven't figured out. Here is where I have to give huge thanks. My sister and Brian are absolutely amazing!!! I cannot thank them enough! And to my niece who unfortunatly did not listen to the warning to stay out of the kitchen and had a falling incident I am sorry. I hope that is not a memory of me that you keep for too long.

 

Thankfully there are no pictures of this portion of the weekend so you are now safe. I can't believe that my little baby is going to be 6. Yes, it was not actually his birthday, but due to scheduling I usually have his party a week early. He said he had a great party and he really likes all of his gifts so all in all it was a good day! After the party and....the stomach projectilings, he and I went upstairs and both zonked out watching tv and snuggling. I'm happy that he still isn't too old to snuggle when one of us isn't feeling well.

 

Join me again next week when I am sure I will sob about my baby growing up too fast and all that jazz that you get from mothers.

 

Until then, let me leave you with a quote that really struck me today.

"Pain is temporary, quitting is forever!" 

 







How I do it

 It seems like every day at least one person says to me "I don't know how you do it." They mean, work full time, go to school 3/4 time, and still have time for my family. To be honest, I'm not really sure how I do it either. I just do. Most days I only get about 4 hours of sleep. I pay for that on the weekends. I am usually in bed by 10 or 11p.m. and sleep until 7a.m. Let me tell you, that messes with the 3rd shift work schedule. On Wednesdays I have class after work. By the time I get home it's time for lunch, which is the only time I get to see my fiancee during the week, and after that I have maybe an hour before Parker gets done with school. Thank you school district for getting out an hour early every single Wednesday...can someone please tell me why this is necessary? With everything else I still find time for myself. I have my bestest best friend to thank for that. My weight has been spiriling out of control the last couple of years. I have made every excuse in the book as to why it didn't matter. One of them being time. When did I have time to work out?

Well let me tell you, making the time to work out has been one of the best things I have done lately. Life is stressful, everyone seems  to think I make my crazy schedule look easy, but it comes with a lot of stress. During the week I am pretty much a single parent. Brian works 2nd shift so he is gone before Parker gets done with school. So homework supper and "tubbies" are all up to me. I have always said that I didn't have my son so that I could ignore him. But I have learned that taking time to workout is by no means ignoring him. In fact, it has been one more activity that we have started doing together. I am trying to teach my son healthy habits so he never has to get to the point that I hit. I am looking forward to this summer and getting outside to run with him. He loves to just go go go so why not let him? Sometimes he doesn't want to work out with me when I do it, so he just does what he does. He is after all, almost 6. He is capable of playing upstairs by himself long enough for me to work out and shower. He actually told me I didn't work out long enough the other day, his show wasn't over with yet.

Going back to school a year ago was a big decision that affected the stress in my life. It has been stressfull, but worth it. I realized that putting it off wasn't going to make it any easier. Now I am mad that I didn't go back sooner. But, that's the past and I am focused on the present. I do this because I want to be the best possible version of myself!

A couple weeks ago Ashley and I went to yoga on Thursday instead of Friday, before class starts we always get a quote to come back to during our yoga. On that particular day the quote was "Be the change you wish to see in the world" from Ghandi. I have come back to that quote several time since then. Iam not thinking so much the world, but my family. I wish for my son to go to college, so that is why I do it. I wish for my son to make healthy choices, so that is why I do it. Honestly I don't know how I do it some days either, but I do it. I don't think about it, I just do it. It needs to be done. I've got no time for excuses anymore.

And to end my post today, I got the rest of my Valentine's Day present from Brian this past weekend!!! Her name is ShelLdon (yes the second L is capitalized on purpose) and she is a Greek tortoise. Parker has decided that her middle name is "the tortoise" so her full name would be ShelLdon The Tortoise Bernard. (Please do not tell her that ShelLdon is a boys name, I had it picked out before I knew she was a girl and I was pretty stuck on it.) Anyway, she is quite amuzing and I am rather enjoying her. I guess that's good because their average lifespan is 50 years with some of them living as long as 70.

 The guy at the pet store said it could take a few months for her to get comfortable, but she is already really sociable. Whenever I pick her up she sticks her head and legs out instead of pulling them in. She was soaking in her water bowl today which is a great sign that she is all comfy in her new home. So we are now getting quite the zoo in our house. 3 humans a boxer, guinea pig, and a tortoise.

Have a fantastic day!!!!

It's been Awhile..

Throwback to some Stained there in the title! But it's true, it has been awhile. I kind of knew that it would be once classes started again. My crazy life gets a littel crazier then. And the further along I get in school the harder it gets, who would have thought? Anyway, on to my life.

Ashley and I have started doing hot yoga. This is basically yoga but what makes it so appealing is it done in a hot room. Let me tell you, with Wisconsin winter on in full blast, hot yoga was just the escape we needed. We have gone twice now, and done a session with each of the two instructors. They each have their own style, but are both just as effective. Yoga is really quite a workout, but it is so relaxing. After it's over it is usually time for me to take a quick nap before work, and let me tell you, I fall asleep right away and sleep like a little baby. I don't want to get up when my alarm goes off, but I usually don't want to any night. Working 3rd shift really sucks! I really don't like it. But, I love my son and it's what I have to do, working 2nd is not an option anymore.

This week was pretty awesome, back in October I had gotten Brian and I tickets to see Jeff Dunham live in Green Bay and it was finally time to go see him this past Friday!!!! I was so excited!!! Traffic was nuts, and I slipped and fell on the stairs in the place and I have some awesome sore spots from it, but oh well. It was so worth it!!! I am really glad that we went, it was so worth taking a night of vacation from work.

Yesterday I was working on getting Parker's birthday party invitations finalized and printed out, but my printer would not cooperate with me. Growl! But I can't believe that my baby is turning 6 in three weeks! I know that all moms go through this every year as their kids get older, but it just blows my mind. My little guy isn't so little anymore. He is independant and sassy and smart and just overall amazing! Again lately I have been getting questioned by several people as to when Brian and I are going to have a baby. Sorry people my answer still has not changed. We are still a one child family. It's true I do have a sadness at the fact that my baby will never again be that tiny baby that I could hold whenever I wanted. That little baby that I could comfort so quickly when others could not. He is now a boy that I get to watch grow and learn. I guess that sadness isn't strong enough for me to want to be pregnant again. I was not good at being pregnant and I do not wish to go through it again. So, I guess I will just be stuck being sad that my baby isn't a baby anymore.

After birthday invitation making I got some cleaning done, then went to the store and got some supplies. I had some people over to play dominoes last night. Not a party or anything just my sister and her crew and my brother and my bestie and her little man. It's funny that some people my age (kids or no kids) spend their Saturday nights out partying and drinking all night and I am perfectly happy being at home with a few people playing a nice mild game of dominoes. Sometimes we even get wild and play cards! I have to say, I really do love my life!

So Valentine's day is coming up next week....Boy are we romantic this house, Brian wants and is getting a chainsaw for Valentine's day. As for me, he told me what his idea is to get me, and it's something that I have been saying that I really want so I am excited! Sorry, can't spill what it is cause that would ruin the surprise! Honestly though, I have been thinking abouttelling him not to get me that though because it's something that I really don't need and really isn't useful in any way it's just something I saw and would like to have. I have thought about telling him to just put that money towards the new treadmill that I would like to buy myself. I really actually need a treadmill and it would be really usefull. I had one for a few weeks before it broke and tried to throw me out of a 2nd story window. I don't know.... I still haven't decided on a treadmill though. They are kind of expensive for  a really nice one. But then I think of the cost of my health and weight loss journey vs the cost of a gym membership around here and I don't think a treadmill is all that expensive. I guess we shall see. So for Valentine's day Brian will enjoy his chainsaw, which actually benifits me as well since he wants it so he can cut wood for burning at the cabin, and I will enjoy my....still can't tell you what it is!!!! And we will go on in our super romantic ways of life! Next time I write I will try to put a picture of my Valentine's gift so you can see what it is!! It's pretty good, that man actually does listen to me when I talk!
Until then!

The Little Things

During a trip to Walmart a few days ago I had a mind blowing realization. It was raining out, which was odd enough since it's mid January in Wisconsin, but Parker and I didn't want to get soaked. So Parker said, "Come on Mommy let's run!" and we did. A few months ago I would have told him no that a little water wouldn't hurt us, but not anymore. We ran across the parking lot holding hands going as fast as his little legs coud take him. It hit me about half way there, I just took off running on a whim. I can't remember the last time I have done that. Parker and I have always played a lot of outdoor games, but since he was littler I could move as fast as him without running. Now he is getting older and therefore faster. But, no worries, the slowly improving me is ready for him!

So, a little thing has just shown me how I am changing. I have lost 13 pounds since I have started my weight loss journey in November. I can't really see any difference yet but I know that there is one. I went shopping yesterday for a new pair of pants for our work party next week. I just picked up a few pair and decided not to try them on. I was shopping alone and without someone to tell me how they looked, did it really matter? I ended up grabbing two pair of skinny jeans that I thought that may fit me, and one pair that I know is still too small, but they are my "mini goal" pants. So, I got home and tried on my pants. I have been wearing a size 17 for the last year now, and I have noticed that they are getting looser on me. The first pair of pants I tried on were a size 15 jeans, and they fit! The second pair was a size 13 and I'm like oh there is no way these are going to fit, the 15's fit, these aren't going to fit too. But, THEY DID!!! Granted, they were a bit more stretchy material, but still, this is huge! I may not be able to tell that 13 pounds is gone, but being able to put on a smaller size pants and be comfortable shows me something.

Running across the parking lot with my son in the rain, putting on a smaller pair of pants, little things but it has made for a great week for me!

When I was at Walmart there was a bikini there that caught my eye, it's black and pink and white plaid and I want it. I have been trying to figure out what the appropriate weight is to wear a bikini again. I haven't worn one since I was about 130. I don't think that getting into a bikini this year is going to happen. I am all about healthy weight loss. Don't get me wrong I would love to drop all of my extra weight very quickly, but that's not healthy and won't lead to the permenant lifestyle change that I need to maintain my weight loss.

It's early in the morning, I don't even know why I am awake I should be sleeping, but I ended up going to bed early last night so I woke up really early and was just awake. I'm waiting for Brian's alarm to go off, we are planning on going to a camper show today. Indoors thankfully! It's about 6 degrees out right now and I am pretty sure I can hear the wind so I don't want to be outside. But I am looking forward to our outing. We have been looking at buying a new camper since last year already since ours is in really bad shape. We went to a show last year but didn't find anything that we knew was "the one". So we didn't get one and just used our old one very close to home. Then this fall we ended up buying a cabin up north. We hadn't really planned on buying a cabin, but the opportunity came up and we fell in love with it and ended up buying it. We have only been up there twice since we bought it in October and it's Winter now. But, I do enjoy the time we are there and I am looking forward to being there quite a bit this Summer. However, we do still want a camper so that we can go to other places as well.

I am looking forward to going to the show today becaust it will be a couple hours of walking around. It's like getting exercise and not even knowing it. Well, I do know it, but it's not like my usual exercise. And it's some quality time with Brian. Ever since I went to third shift we don't get to see eachother all that often. About half an hour a day during the week and on weekends we are usually pretty busy doing this or that. So, a couple of hours alone together with the other couple hundred people there should be fun.

See ya later!!!

Nothing Much

Hey there!

I don't really have much to actually write about today. I was just struck with the urge to write a bit. I am sitting here with Parker as he is doing his homework and I am totally amazed! That is my son. He came from me. I made him. I may have had some help, but I cooked him for 7 and a half months. I guess by now I shouldn't be amazed by this anymore since he is almost 6, but I am. I think when you stop being amazed by your children you should worry.

Parker doesn't really look like me, he does have my brown eyes and he does have a few freckles like me,but that is pretty much the extent of it. But let me tell you, this boy is so much like me it's a little scary. I remember when I was a teenager and I had an attitude and would get sassy my mom would say "someday I hope you have a kid just like you". I thought this would be awesome, I mean hello, I am totally awesome who wouldn't want more of me? Now that I am older and I have a son of my own, I have begun to analyze this a little more. His personality is so much like me and the things that come out of his mouth sound just like a mini me. Also, he is smart. I'm talking like really smart. Take a minute to brag here: at parent teacher conferences his teacher showed us his standardized test and the requirements are a minimum score of 20. The average score in her class was a 60-70. My boy 110!!! Ok brag time over, but you can see, he is smart. Sometimes too smart for his own good. When I try to bribe him, he uses logic to see that I am bribing him and negotiates more. He uses logic and reason to argue his points when he does or does not want to do something. Here is where I start to get worried. He is super cute, capable of smartness, and sassy. I'm not going to sugar coat, he has my attitude and that's a little scary! I guess my mom was right, I got a child that is just like me. But hey, I turned out pretty great so I'm not worried.

I am really proud that so far, even though it's only kindergarten, I can get him to sit and do his homework before he watches any t.v. or plays any video games and there is no argument. I am proud that he is independant and wants to learn new things and asks a million questions. Yes, I get annoyed at the questions sometimes, but that's how you learn things. I am happy that he is a little sponge soaking up information. So I sit here, and watch him work away and I couldn't be more proud. He does not care for fine motor skills, writing, drawing, the things like that, but that's ok. There are plenty of things that I don't like either.

Having him is also a great motivator for me. He knows that I go to college and he asks me if I have my homework done. He asks me how my classes are going and what I am learning. It makes me want to do great things just so that he can be as proud of me as I am of him. I am so happy that he is just the way he is, I couldn't ask for a better son!

That's pretty much all I wanted to say, I'm just being thankful for my son. Thankful that I have him, thankful that he is healthy with all that could have gone badly, thankful that he is so happy and full of spark and energy and amazingness, I hope that never changes!

Until next time!

Happy Friday!!!

It's mid January in Wisconsin, and it's 40 degrees outside and it rained out yesterday.....Can't say that I am sad because that would be a lie, but really, we all know that it's not going to last and that does make me sad.

Anyway, now that I have finished talking about the weather like I am some 80 year old..... This week has been ok. Except for at some point I realized that classes start again next week already. I don't know why but for some reason I thought I had like 2 weeks left. Oh well I guess. In a way I am excited, but it really is a lot of pressure. I am 2/3 of the way done with my first degree, and wouldn't you know it, these classes keep getting harder and more time consuming. Who would have thought? I am worried though because I have gotten into a fairly decent routine of working out and with school starting again I am worried that I will give up my workout time for school time. I did suffer from the classic "mommy guilt" for awhile, but I don't anymore. If I do a workout dvd Parker will usually watch me and when I run it is usually when Parker is at school so my working out doesn't really take time away from him, but I admit sometimes my homework does. we will sit down to watch a movie together and I will be working on homework and I know I am not paying full attention to him. But, I have come to learn that I don't need to feel guilty about it. Everything I do is to make my life better and thereby make his life better too. My going to school will hopefully provide me with a satisfying career where I will hopefully make more money. My working out is making me a healthier person which will ensure that I am around for him for a long time. I also hope that it will teach him good habits and make sure he leads a healthy lifestyle, a task I am having to learn at 26. I wish it had been instilled in me my whole life, but it wasn't and I can't change the past, but I can affect my son's future.

I wish that Brian would want to workout with me, he has made comments about wanting to lose some weight, but he hasn't had his moment yet so I don't push him. I know that I had to have my "aha" moment before I was finally ready to begin my journey to becoming healthy. I also don't say anything because a lot of his weight came from when he quit smoking. I am so proud that he gave it up cold turkey and it's been almost 2 years already. He has amazing will power!

I have been doing some Jillian Michaels workout dvds and while they are easy because she doesn't do complicated moves or move at an insane pace, they are kicking my a$$. Quite literally I must say. My tushie and thighs are in some big time pain right now. It hurts to sit down, it hurts to climb stairs, but it is a good hurt and I like it. Well, not really like it, but I like knowing that the hard workout that I am doing is hopefully paying off.

I am however having a struggle with food. I have given up my biggest calorie demon, the Mt. Dew, but I still eat plenty of things that I shouldn't. It's hard to eat healthy when the other person you are cooking for doesn't care for healthy things. I don't feel like making two different meals, so I end up eating things that are packed with calories and I have been struggling to lose weight lately. Don't get me wrong, I really like the calorie packed food, but as Jillian says, "you want results that don't come for free." So one of my goals for next week is to eat a lot better. I have been trying to plan better so that I have a healthy lunch for work instead of a gas station burrito. It sucks that this is the time of year when fresh fruits and veggies are super expensive, but what's better, going cheap and eating crap or spending the extra money and eating healthy? I think the choice here is pretty obvious..... I am also thinking about starting to try calorie counting. I did have success with using a weight watchers app two summers ago, and I know that I am going to be awful at calorie counting, but I think it would be helpful to once again see just what I am putting into my body. I have also been learning from an amazing group of 7,000+ ladies that are on the same journey as me, that when you start working out, there is actually a point where you need to eat more calories in order to keep losing weight.

My work winter party is in like 2 weeks and I was hoping to have lost more weight so that I could justify buying a new outfit, but sadly, I cannot say that I have. The shirts that I own still fit fine and while it's disappointing I am trying not to dwell on it because I know if I put too much pressure on myself it will just backfire. So, I am going to just keep working hard and trying to improve. One of these days I will make it through the entire Jillian workout without ending up laying on the floor trying to breathe and just rest a minute.

To add to the chaos, but in a totally great way, my custody arrangment may be changing soon. Instead of having Parker everyother week, I would essentially have him every day and his father would have him evey night and then we will alternate weekends. This is the recommendation from the gaurdian ad litem, the judge has not responded to it yet. I am happy and worried about this at the same time. I am super happy because of course I want to see my son every day, going a whole week without seeing him pretty much sucks. But at the same time, I only get 4 hours of sleep a day and when he is at his father's I try to sneak a little more, I even got 6 hours one day this week!!!! I am adjusted to this and it doesn't bother me, but with having him every day I don't want to be tired or worn out when I have him. My school schedule is a little more demanding this semester, I have two online classes and one on campus. The on campus one starts 2 hours after work so I have to hang around two hours then go to class so I won't be getting home until almost noon on three days a week. Well, when you usually sleep from 9am until noon, I guess there goes all of my sleep time on those three days....I knew that going back to school was going to be tough and I'm not complaining or at least that's not my intention, but dang....these next 4 months are going to suck. But really, what is 4 months in the grand scheme of things? Just suck it up and do it!!!!

Well, I guess this is pretty long already and there is this little person that calls me mom a lot that has taken a break from his wii game to inform me that he is ready for supper....guess I should start making it then huh?

Until next time,

Keep the sanity!

I See London....

I see London, I see France, I can see my underpants

I am so happy and so proud to announce that my pants are falling down! Usually this is a bad thing and an annoyance, but for me, it's awesome because this time I know that they are falling down because I have lost weight and not becasue they are getting too tight. It's a good feeling to know that my work is making a difference. I first discovered this a few nights ago at work. I kept having to pull my pants up. I wear foldover yoga pants to work, and once I noticed that they were falling down it really bugged me because I didn't want everyone to see. (Kind of a stupid thought since I wear a lab coat that covers to my knees)

I have a pair of jeans that I used to be able to wear and I can once again get them on and button them, but they are still a bit too tight for me to be comfortable wearing them in public. I actually have a lot of pairs of pants that no longer fit, all the way down to a size 9 so I am covered for a little while in the pants department.

I watched the premier of the newest season of The Biggest Loser last night. They had kids on the show this season. It really made me think about childhood obesity. When I started running and working out, my son would see me and he thought that he needed to start exercising too. I told him that he didn't need to exercise that mom is fat and that's why she needs to do it. But, as I am getting more into the healthy new me, I realize that this is just not true. My son should be exercising. Maybe he doesn't need to do a workout dvd or go on a structured run, but he should be active. But I have decided that when I am working out if he wants to work out with me, he can. Thursday night I was doing a Jillian Michaels workout, and he says "I can do that mom, wanna see?" So I encouraged him to do it with me. Of course this was a bit distracting because he was just so darn cute. But dang, can my boy plank! So I have set another goal for the year 2013 of finding more active things that Parker and I (and anyone else that wants to join since my bestie and I love having active playdates) can do together. I have always made a point to spend quality time with Parker, but a lot of times it's playing with toys or playing a game. This year I am going to be more active and set him up to lead a healthy lifestyle. It should be fairly easy since he never says no to anything outside. We do enjoy walking our dog, but he gets annoyed because she is protective of him so anytime anyone or anything comes near him she will walk in front of him and usually ends up tripping him with her leash. I know the struggles I have gone through with my weight and i don't want my son to go through this.

So to summarize, my pants are falling down and I love it! And 2013 is going to be a very active year!

That is all,

until next time!