During a trip to Walmart a few days ago I had a mind blowing realization. It was raining out, which was odd enough since it's mid January in Wisconsin, but Parker and I didn't want to get soaked. So Parker said, "Come on Mommy let's run!" and we did. A few months ago I would have told him no that a little water wouldn't hurt us, but not anymore. We ran across the parking lot holding hands going as fast as his little legs coud take him. It hit me about half way there, I just took off running on a whim. I can't remember the last time I have done that. Parker and I have always played a lot of outdoor games, but since he was littler I could move as fast as him without running. Now he is getting older and therefore faster. But, no worries, the slowly improving me is ready for him!
So, a little thing has just shown me how I am changing. I have lost 13 pounds since I have started my weight loss journey in November. I can't really see any difference yet but I know that there is one. I went shopping yesterday for a new pair of pants for our work party next week. I just picked up a few pair and decided not to try them on. I was shopping alone and without someone to tell me how they looked, did it really matter? I ended up grabbing two pair of skinny jeans that I thought that may fit me, and one pair that I know is still too small, but they are my "mini goal" pants. So, I got home and tried on my pants. I have been wearing a size 17 for the last year now, and I have noticed that they are getting looser on me. The first pair of pants I tried on were a size 15 jeans, and they fit! The second pair was a size 13 and I'm like oh there is no way these are going to fit, the 15's fit, these aren't going to fit too. But, THEY DID!!! Granted, they were a bit more stretchy material, but still, this is huge! I may not be able to tell that 13 pounds is gone, but being able to put on a smaller size pants and be comfortable shows me something.
Running across the parking lot with my son in the rain, putting on a smaller pair of pants, little things but it has made for a great week for me!
When I was at Walmart there was a bikini there that caught my eye, it's black and pink and white plaid and I want it. I have been trying to figure out what the appropriate weight is to wear a bikini again. I haven't worn one since I was about 130. I don't think that getting into a bikini this year is going to happen. I am all about healthy weight loss. Don't get me wrong I would love to drop all of my extra weight very quickly, but that's not healthy and won't lead to the permenant lifestyle change that I need to maintain my weight loss.
It's early in the morning, I don't even know why I am awake I should be sleeping, but I ended up going to bed early last night so I woke up really early and was just awake. I'm waiting for Brian's alarm to go off, we are planning on going to a camper show today. Indoors thankfully! It's about 6 degrees out right now and I am pretty sure I can hear the wind so I don't want to be outside. But I am looking forward to our outing. We have been looking at buying a new camper since last year already since ours is in really bad shape. We went to a show last year but didn't find anything that we knew was "the one". So we didn't get one and just used our old one very close to home. Then this fall we ended up buying a cabin up north. We hadn't really planned on buying a cabin, but the opportunity came up and we fell in love with it and ended up buying it. We have only been up there twice since we bought it in October and it's Winter now. But, I do enjoy the time we are there and I am looking forward to being there quite a bit this Summer. However, we do still want a camper so that we can go to other places as well.
I am looking forward to going to the show today becaust it will be a couple hours of walking around. It's like getting exercise and not even knowing it. Well, I do know it, but it's not like my usual exercise. And it's some quality time with Brian. Ever since I went to third shift we don't get to see eachother all that often. About half an hour a day during the week and on weekends we are usually pretty busy doing this or that. So, a couple of hours alone together with the other couple hundred people there should be fun.
See ya later!!!
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Nothing Much
Hey there!
I don't really have much to actually write about today. I was just struck with the urge to write a bit. I am sitting here with Parker as he is doing his homework and I am totally amazed! That is my son. He came from me. I made him. I may have had some help, but I cooked him for 7 and a half months. I guess by now I shouldn't be amazed by this anymore since he is almost 6, but I am. I think when you stop being amazed by your children you should worry.
Parker doesn't really look like me, he does have my brown eyes and he does have a few freckles like me,but that is pretty much the extent of it. But let me tell you, this boy is so much like me it's a little scary. I remember when I was a teenager and I had an attitude and would get sassy my mom would say "someday I hope you have a kid just like you". I thought this would be awesome, I mean hello, I am totally awesome who wouldn't want more of me? Now that I am older and I have a son of my own, I have begun to analyze this a little more. His personality is so much like me and the things that come out of his mouth sound just like a mini me. Also, he is smart. I'm talking like really smart. Take a minute to brag here: at parent teacher conferences his teacher showed us his standardized test and the requirements are a minimum score of 20. The average score in her class was a 60-70. My boy 110!!! Ok brag time over, but you can see, he is smart. Sometimes too smart for his own good. When I try to bribe him, he uses logic to see that I am bribing him and negotiates more. He uses logic and reason to argue his points when he does or does not want to do something. Here is where I start to get worried. He is super cute, capable of smartness, and sassy. I'm not going to sugar coat, he has my attitude and that's a little scary! I guess my mom was right, I got a child that is just like me. But hey, I turned out pretty great so I'm not worried.
I am really proud that so far, even though it's only kindergarten, I can get him to sit and do his homework before he watches any t.v. or plays any video games and there is no argument. I am proud that he is independant and wants to learn new things and asks a million questions. Yes, I get annoyed at the questions sometimes, but that's how you learn things. I am happy that he is a little sponge soaking up information. So I sit here, and watch him work away and I couldn't be more proud. He does not care for fine motor skills, writing, drawing, the things like that, but that's ok. There are plenty of things that I don't like either.
Having him is also a great motivator for me. He knows that I go to college and he asks me if I have my homework done. He asks me how my classes are going and what I am learning. It makes me want to do great things just so that he can be as proud of me as I am of him. I am so happy that he is just the way he is, I couldn't ask for a better son!
That's pretty much all I wanted to say, I'm just being thankful for my son. Thankful that I have him, thankful that he is healthy with all that could have gone badly, thankful that he is so happy and full of spark and energy and amazingness, I hope that never changes!
Until next time!
I don't really have much to actually write about today. I was just struck with the urge to write a bit. I am sitting here with Parker as he is doing his homework and I am totally amazed! That is my son. He came from me. I made him. I may have had some help, but I cooked him for 7 and a half months. I guess by now I shouldn't be amazed by this anymore since he is almost 6, but I am. I think when you stop being amazed by your children you should worry.
Parker doesn't really look like me, he does have my brown eyes and he does have a few freckles like me,but that is pretty much the extent of it. But let me tell you, this boy is so much like me it's a little scary. I remember when I was a teenager and I had an attitude and would get sassy my mom would say "someday I hope you have a kid just like you". I thought this would be awesome, I mean hello, I am totally awesome who wouldn't want more of me? Now that I am older and I have a son of my own, I have begun to analyze this a little more. His personality is so much like me and the things that come out of his mouth sound just like a mini me. Also, he is smart. I'm talking like really smart. Take a minute to brag here: at parent teacher conferences his teacher showed us his standardized test and the requirements are a minimum score of 20. The average score in her class was a 60-70. My boy 110!!! Ok brag time over, but you can see, he is smart. Sometimes too smart for his own good. When I try to bribe him, he uses logic to see that I am bribing him and negotiates more. He uses logic and reason to argue his points when he does or does not want to do something. Here is where I start to get worried. He is super cute, capable of smartness, and sassy. I'm not going to sugar coat, he has my attitude and that's a little scary! I guess my mom was right, I got a child that is just like me. But hey, I turned out pretty great so I'm not worried.
I am really proud that so far, even though it's only kindergarten, I can get him to sit and do his homework before he watches any t.v. or plays any video games and there is no argument. I am proud that he is independant and wants to learn new things and asks a million questions. Yes, I get annoyed at the questions sometimes, but that's how you learn things. I am happy that he is a little sponge soaking up information. So I sit here, and watch him work away and I couldn't be more proud. He does not care for fine motor skills, writing, drawing, the things like that, but that's ok. There are plenty of things that I don't like either.
Having him is also a great motivator for me. He knows that I go to college and he asks me if I have my homework done. He asks me how my classes are going and what I am learning. It makes me want to do great things just so that he can be as proud of me as I am of him. I am so happy that he is just the way he is, I couldn't ask for a better son!
That's pretty much all I wanted to say, I'm just being thankful for my son. Thankful that I have him, thankful that he is healthy with all that could have gone badly, thankful that he is so happy and full of spark and energy and amazingness, I hope that never changes!
Until next time!
Friday, January 11, 2013
Happy Friday!!!
It's mid January in Wisconsin, and it's 40 degrees outside and it rained out yesterday.....Can't say that I am sad because that would be a lie, but really, we all know that it's not going to last and that does make me sad.
Anyway, now that I have finished talking about the weather like I am some 80 year old..... This week has been ok. Except for at some point I realized that classes start again next week already. I don't know why but for some reason I thought I had like 2 weeks left. Oh well I guess. In a way I am excited, but it really is a lot of pressure. I am 2/3 of the way done with my first degree, and wouldn't you know it, these classes keep getting harder and more time consuming. Who would have thought? I am worried though because I have gotten into a fairly decent routine of working out and with school starting again I am worried that I will give up my workout time for school time. I did suffer from the classic "mommy guilt" for awhile, but I don't anymore. If I do a workout dvd Parker will usually watch me and when I run it is usually when Parker is at school so my working out doesn't really take time away from him, but I admit sometimes my homework does. we will sit down to watch a movie together and I will be working on homework and I know I am not paying full attention to him. But, I have come to learn that I don't need to feel guilty about it. Everything I do is to make my life better and thereby make his life better too. My going to school will hopefully provide me with a satisfying career where I will hopefully make more money. My working out is making me a healthier person which will ensure that I am around for him for a long time. I also hope that it will teach him good habits and make sure he leads a healthy lifestyle, a task I am having to learn at 26. I wish it had been instilled in me my whole life, but it wasn't and I can't change the past, but I can affect my son's future.
I wish that Brian would want to workout with me, he has made comments about wanting to lose some weight, but he hasn't had his moment yet so I don't push him. I know that I had to have my "aha" moment before I was finally ready to begin my journey to becoming healthy. I also don't say anything because a lot of his weight came from when he quit smoking. I am so proud that he gave it up cold turkey and it's been almost 2 years already. He has amazing will power!
I have been doing some Jillian Michaels workout dvds and while they are easy because she doesn't do complicated moves or move at an insane pace, they are kicking my a$$. Quite literally I must say. My tushie and thighs are in some big time pain right now. It hurts to sit down, it hurts to climb stairs, but it is a good hurt and I like it. Well, not really like it, but I like knowing that the hard workout that I am doing is hopefully paying off.
I am however having a struggle with food. I have given up my biggest calorie demon, the Mt. Dew, but I still eat plenty of things that I shouldn't. It's hard to eat healthy when the other person you are cooking for doesn't care for healthy things. I don't feel like making two different meals, so I end up eating things that are packed with calories and I have been struggling to lose weight lately. Don't get me wrong, I really like the calorie packed food, but as Jillian says, "you want results that don't come for free." So one of my goals for next week is to eat a lot better. I have been trying to plan better so that I have a healthy lunch for work instead of a gas station burrito. It sucks that this is the time of year when fresh fruits and veggies are super expensive, but what's better, going cheap and eating crap or spending the extra money and eating healthy? I think the choice here is pretty obvious..... I am also thinking about starting to try calorie counting. I did have success with using a weight watchers app two summers ago, and I know that I am going to be awful at calorie counting, but I think it would be helpful to once again see just what I am putting into my body. I have also been learning from an amazing group of 7,000+ ladies that are on the same journey as me, that when you start working out, there is actually a point where you need to eat more calories in order to keep losing weight.
My work winter party is in like 2 weeks and I was hoping to have lost more weight so that I could justify buying a new outfit, but sadly, I cannot say that I have. The shirts that I own still fit fine and while it's disappointing I am trying not to dwell on it because I know if I put too much pressure on myself it will just backfire. So, I am going to just keep working hard and trying to improve. One of these days I will make it through the entire Jillian workout without ending up laying on the floor trying to breathe and just rest a minute.
To add to the chaos, but in a totally great way, my custody arrangment may be changing soon. Instead of having Parker everyother week, I would essentially have him every day and his father would have him evey night and then we will alternate weekends. This is the recommendation from the gaurdian ad litem, the judge has not responded to it yet. I am happy and worried about this at the same time. I am super happy because of course I want to see my son every day, going a whole week without seeing him pretty much sucks. But at the same time, I only get 4 hours of sleep a day and when he is at his father's I try to sneak a little more, I even got 6 hours one day this week!!!! I am adjusted to this and it doesn't bother me, but with having him every day I don't want to be tired or worn out when I have him. My school schedule is a little more demanding this semester, I have two online classes and one on campus. The on campus one starts 2 hours after work so I have to hang around two hours then go to class so I won't be getting home until almost noon on three days a week. Well, when you usually sleep from 9am until noon, I guess there goes all of my sleep time on those three days....I knew that going back to school was going to be tough and I'm not complaining or at least that's not my intention, but dang....these next 4 months are going to suck. But really, what is 4 months in the grand scheme of things? Just suck it up and do it!!!!
Well, I guess this is pretty long already and there is this little person that calls me mom a lot that has taken a break from his wii game to inform me that he is ready for supper....guess I should start making it then huh?
Until next time,
Keep the sanity!
It's mid January in Wisconsin, and it's 40 degrees outside and it rained out yesterday.....Can't say that I am sad because that would be a lie, but really, we all know that it's not going to last and that does make me sad.
Anyway, now that I have finished talking about the weather like I am some 80 year old..... This week has been ok. Except for at some point I realized that classes start again next week already. I don't know why but for some reason I thought I had like 2 weeks left. Oh well I guess. In a way I am excited, but it really is a lot of pressure. I am 2/3 of the way done with my first degree, and wouldn't you know it, these classes keep getting harder and more time consuming. Who would have thought? I am worried though because I have gotten into a fairly decent routine of working out and with school starting again I am worried that I will give up my workout time for school time. I did suffer from the classic "mommy guilt" for awhile, but I don't anymore. If I do a workout dvd Parker will usually watch me and when I run it is usually when Parker is at school so my working out doesn't really take time away from him, but I admit sometimes my homework does. we will sit down to watch a movie together and I will be working on homework and I know I am not paying full attention to him. But, I have come to learn that I don't need to feel guilty about it. Everything I do is to make my life better and thereby make his life better too. My going to school will hopefully provide me with a satisfying career where I will hopefully make more money. My working out is making me a healthier person which will ensure that I am around for him for a long time. I also hope that it will teach him good habits and make sure he leads a healthy lifestyle, a task I am having to learn at 26. I wish it had been instilled in me my whole life, but it wasn't and I can't change the past, but I can affect my son's future.
I wish that Brian would want to workout with me, he has made comments about wanting to lose some weight, but he hasn't had his moment yet so I don't push him. I know that I had to have my "aha" moment before I was finally ready to begin my journey to becoming healthy. I also don't say anything because a lot of his weight came from when he quit smoking. I am so proud that he gave it up cold turkey and it's been almost 2 years already. He has amazing will power!
I have been doing some Jillian Michaels workout dvds and while they are easy because she doesn't do complicated moves or move at an insane pace, they are kicking my a$$. Quite literally I must say. My tushie and thighs are in some big time pain right now. It hurts to sit down, it hurts to climb stairs, but it is a good hurt and I like it. Well, not really like it, but I like knowing that the hard workout that I am doing is hopefully paying off.
I am however having a struggle with food. I have given up my biggest calorie demon, the Mt. Dew, but I still eat plenty of things that I shouldn't. It's hard to eat healthy when the other person you are cooking for doesn't care for healthy things. I don't feel like making two different meals, so I end up eating things that are packed with calories and I have been struggling to lose weight lately. Don't get me wrong, I really like the calorie packed food, but as Jillian says, "you want results that don't come for free." So one of my goals for next week is to eat a lot better. I have been trying to plan better so that I have a healthy lunch for work instead of a gas station burrito. It sucks that this is the time of year when fresh fruits and veggies are super expensive, but what's better, going cheap and eating crap or spending the extra money and eating healthy? I think the choice here is pretty obvious..... I am also thinking about starting to try calorie counting. I did have success with using a weight watchers app two summers ago, and I know that I am going to be awful at calorie counting, but I think it would be helpful to once again see just what I am putting into my body. I have also been learning from an amazing group of 7,000+ ladies that are on the same journey as me, that when you start working out, there is actually a point where you need to eat more calories in order to keep losing weight.
My work winter party is in like 2 weeks and I was hoping to have lost more weight so that I could justify buying a new outfit, but sadly, I cannot say that I have. The shirts that I own still fit fine and while it's disappointing I am trying not to dwell on it because I know if I put too much pressure on myself it will just backfire. So, I am going to just keep working hard and trying to improve. One of these days I will make it through the entire Jillian workout without ending up laying on the floor trying to breathe and just rest a minute.
To add to the chaos, but in a totally great way, my custody arrangment may be changing soon. Instead of having Parker everyother week, I would essentially have him every day and his father would have him evey night and then we will alternate weekends. This is the recommendation from the gaurdian ad litem, the judge has not responded to it yet. I am happy and worried about this at the same time. I am super happy because of course I want to see my son every day, going a whole week without seeing him pretty much sucks. But at the same time, I only get 4 hours of sleep a day and when he is at his father's I try to sneak a little more, I even got 6 hours one day this week!!!! I am adjusted to this and it doesn't bother me, but with having him every day I don't want to be tired or worn out when I have him. My school schedule is a little more demanding this semester, I have two online classes and one on campus. The on campus one starts 2 hours after work so I have to hang around two hours then go to class so I won't be getting home until almost noon on three days a week. Well, when you usually sleep from 9am until noon, I guess there goes all of my sleep time on those three days....I knew that going back to school was going to be tough and I'm not complaining or at least that's not my intention, but dang....these next 4 months are going to suck. But really, what is 4 months in the grand scheme of things? Just suck it up and do it!!!!
Well, I guess this is pretty long already and there is this little person that calls me mom a lot that has taken a break from his wii game to inform me that he is ready for supper....guess I should start making it then huh?
Until next time,
Keep the sanity!
Monday, January 7, 2013
I See London....
I see London, I see France, I can see my underpants
I am so happy and so proud to announce that my pants are falling down! Usually this is a bad thing and an annoyance, but for me, it's awesome because this time I know that they are falling down because I have lost weight and not becasue they are getting too tight. It's a good feeling to know that my work is making a difference. I first discovered this a few nights ago at work. I kept having to pull my pants up. I wear foldover yoga pants to work, and once I noticed that they were falling down it really bugged me because I didn't want everyone to see. (Kind of a stupid thought since I wear a lab coat that covers to my knees)
I have a pair of jeans that I used to be able to wear and I can once again get them on and button them, but they are still a bit too tight for me to be comfortable wearing them in public. I actually have a lot of pairs of pants that no longer fit, all the way down to a size 9 so I am covered for a little while in the pants department.
I watched the premier of the newest season of The Biggest Loser last night. They had kids on the show this season. It really made me think about childhood obesity. When I started running and working out, my son would see me and he thought that he needed to start exercising too. I told him that he didn't need to exercise that mom is fat and that's why she needs to do it. But, as I am getting more into the healthy new me, I realize that this is just not true. My son should be exercising. Maybe he doesn't need to do a workout dvd or go on a structured run, but he should be active. But I have decided that when I am working out if he wants to work out with me, he can. Thursday night I was doing a Jillian Michaels workout, and he says "I can do that mom, wanna see?" So I encouraged him to do it with me. Of course this was a bit distracting because he was just so darn cute. But dang, can my boy plank! So I have set another goal for the year 2013 of finding more active things that Parker and I (and anyone else that wants to join since my bestie and I love having active playdates) can do together. I have always made a point to spend quality time with Parker, but a lot of times it's playing with toys or playing a game. This year I am going to be more active and set him up to lead a healthy lifestyle. It should be fairly easy since he never says no to anything outside. We do enjoy walking our dog, but he gets annoyed because she is protective of him so anytime anyone or anything comes near him she will walk in front of him and usually ends up tripping him with her leash. I know the struggles I have gone through with my weight and i don't want my son to go through this.
So to summarize, my pants are falling down and I love it! And 2013 is going to be a very active year!
That is all,
until next time!
I am so happy and so proud to announce that my pants are falling down! Usually this is a bad thing and an annoyance, but for me, it's awesome because this time I know that they are falling down because I have lost weight and not becasue they are getting too tight. It's a good feeling to know that my work is making a difference. I first discovered this a few nights ago at work. I kept having to pull my pants up. I wear foldover yoga pants to work, and once I noticed that they were falling down it really bugged me because I didn't want everyone to see. (Kind of a stupid thought since I wear a lab coat that covers to my knees)
I have a pair of jeans that I used to be able to wear and I can once again get them on and button them, but they are still a bit too tight for me to be comfortable wearing them in public. I actually have a lot of pairs of pants that no longer fit, all the way down to a size 9 so I am covered for a little while in the pants department.
I watched the premier of the newest season of The Biggest Loser last night. They had kids on the show this season. It really made me think about childhood obesity. When I started running and working out, my son would see me and he thought that he needed to start exercising too. I told him that he didn't need to exercise that mom is fat and that's why she needs to do it. But, as I am getting more into the healthy new me, I realize that this is just not true. My son should be exercising. Maybe he doesn't need to do a workout dvd or go on a structured run, but he should be active. But I have decided that when I am working out if he wants to work out with me, he can. Thursday night I was doing a Jillian Michaels workout, and he says "I can do that mom, wanna see?" So I encouraged him to do it with me. Of course this was a bit distracting because he was just so darn cute. But dang, can my boy plank! So I have set another goal for the year 2013 of finding more active things that Parker and I (and anyone else that wants to join since my bestie and I love having active playdates) can do together. I have always made a point to spend quality time with Parker, but a lot of times it's playing with toys or playing a game. This year I am going to be more active and set him up to lead a healthy lifestyle. It should be fairly easy since he never says no to anything outside. We do enjoy walking our dog, but he gets annoyed because she is protective of him so anytime anyone or anything comes near him she will walk in front of him and usually ends up tripping him with her leash. I know the struggles I have gone through with my weight and i don't want my son to go through this.
So to summarize, my pants are falling down and I love it! And 2013 is going to be a very active year!
That is all,
until next time!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Nobody Saw Part 2
Here it is people,
2013 has arrived! It's set up to be one of the best years ever! I've got a lot planned and a lot of changes are coming so watch out!
If anyone read or remembers "Nobody Saw" (one of my previous posts) this is both a repeat and a big difference. There was a repeat of the situation, but a whole new take on it.
January 1st, 2013 was the start of my big changes for myself. My bestie and I were planning for months to run in the "Color My New Year" run in Oshkosh. We registered for it way back in October. It was supposed to be my first ever run, that is until I decided to do a run a month early. But it was still my first 5k run....ever. I have walked a few before, but never run. I knew it would be cold, I knew it meant no drinking on New Year's Eve ( but I don't drink much any way so that was no big deal.) But I also knew I wouldn't be alone. Ashley would be there with me, even if she can run a 5k way faster than me, she would be there and I wouldn't be alone.
So the day got closer and the anticipation built. I've trained hard for this, but mostly on a treadmill, I wasn't sure about myself. I can run 2.5 miles pretty easy, but haven't run the 5k yet. But that wasn't the worry, I was worried about the weather. January 1st could be a wicked day in Wisconsin. New Year's Eve the family was headed home from our cabin since I had to work that evening. I was texting Ashley to set up the final plans for the next day. We made the plans, there were facebook posts about excitement, everything was set. I went to work for 6:30p.m. and at 8:30p.m. I took my break and got the messages that changed the mood. Ashley had been sick all week and taking it easy so she would hopefully be feeling better for the run. She had told me that she wasn't feeling up to par and would be running slowly. But on my break she had texted me saying that her condition had worsened and she just didn't think it would be a good idea to run. I may have groaned out loud right in the break room. I totally understood, I knew she was really sick. I also knew that there was no way she would just bail for no reason at all. She was as excited as I was about this run even if a 5k is nothing for her these days. I knew if she said she couldn't do it then she was really sick and this illness meant business. I know that she felt awful and probably felt as though she was letting me down in some way. But I hope she realizes that that's not the case at all. I mean seriously, she ended up visiting the E.R. that night, I can't be mad at that. I know how much she wanted to do that run.
I honestly contemplated not going to the run. Really, what was the point without Ashley? It was supposed to be our thing. I sent Brian a message on break saying I wasn't sure what I was going to do. It would be so easy to just forget it and spend the day inside the house staying warm. Besides, I'd never run that far anyway, so why look like an idiot in front of all those people, right? Brian offered to go along to watch me, but then there was Parker. Brian was going to watch Parker for me while I ran and there was no way I wanted Parker to stand outside for that amount of time. So I told him no that I hadn't decided if I was even going to go. I spent the last two and a half hours of work stewing in my own thoughts. Should I? Shouldn't I? This is the conclusion I came to.
2012 would be over, and 2013 needs to be different. The 2012 me gave up easily, quit a lot of things that I started, and just didn't give 110%. Overall conclusion, 2012 was a quitter. 2013 will not be a quitter, I have been training for this run for two months, and I was going to do it. 2013 will start off a pusher. So I got home from work at 11:57p.m. didn't celebrate the new year really at all, and went to bed semi-early. I set my alarm, got up early, got into my running clothes and set off. If there was a sign of a great day, it came early. Ashley had the directions..... I have a GPS that has an attitude. I started out worried that I wasn't even going to get there on time. But, I looked up the address, and my sync system magically gave me no attitude at all!! Yes, 2013 was starting off pretty good. I was driving and looking at the temperature and the highest it got was 2 degrees. The lowest was -6 degrees. When I arrived on location it was 0 degrees. I sat in my truck for a minute or two doing the final contemplation. I could turn around right now and go home. It wouldn't make a difference. No one would know that I was ever there. It was below 0 with the windchill, and I hate the cold, and now I was doing this alone. But I took a deep breath and went inside. I got my number, 2013, everyone that preregistered was a 2013. I paced around inside the gym waiting for the starting lineup.
My motto for the color run: freeze or finish. I repeated it before the run, I repeated it while I was running. I repeated it everytime I wanted to just quit. Freeze or finish. It was the truth. Keep moving and stay warm. Stop moving and freeze. Sure the police would come and cart me to safety, but that was not an option. I was not quitting. 2013 is going to be different. I had set a goal for myself, I know that I am a slow runner, with a 13 minute mile, but today was different. I had never run in this cold of a temperature outside. So, I was generous with myself, I said if I could finish in 45 minutes I would be happy. Proud to say that I finished in 44:26! I know that's not a super great time, and yes I had to walk a few times. I made the mistake of breathing too deeply and started coughing and that went into a coughing spree. But I never stopped! Not even once, I just kept moving even if I couldn't run the whole time.
I crossed the finish line, and again realized I was alone. I did this, I started I finished, and once again nobody saw. Well, actually a lot of people saw. People that were there to see other people, and noone there to see me. But instead of it making me sad and depressed this time, it made me smile. I really had done this for me and just for me. Noone else. I didn't need anyone there, I did it for me. So I asked someone to take my picture, and then I headed home. I was happy! I did it! Ok, I know that a 5k is still not a big deal, but it is when I think about all the people that did nothing that day. I do need to add that I did have an Aunt that is really supportive of me offer to come and watch me run, but with the temperature being so cold I told her to stay home and stay warm. There's no reason to put anyone at risk of getting sick for my selfishness.
So here it is, the 2013 1st Annual Color My New Year Run:
2013 has arrived! It's set up to be one of the best years ever! I've got a lot planned and a lot of changes are coming so watch out!
If anyone read or remembers "Nobody Saw" (one of my previous posts) this is both a repeat and a big difference. There was a repeat of the situation, but a whole new take on it.
January 1st, 2013 was the start of my big changes for myself. My bestie and I were planning for months to run in the "Color My New Year" run in Oshkosh. We registered for it way back in October. It was supposed to be my first ever run, that is until I decided to do a run a month early. But it was still my first 5k run....ever. I have walked a few before, but never run. I knew it would be cold, I knew it meant no drinking on New Year's Eve ( but I don't drink much any way so that was no big deal.) But I also knew I wouldn't be alone. Ashley would be there with me, even if she can run a 5k way faster than me, she would be there and I wouldn't be alone.
So the day got closer and the anticipation built. I've trained hard for this, but mostly on a treadmill, I wasn't sure about myself. I can run 2.5 miles pretty easy, but haven't run the 5k yet. But that wasn't the worry, I was worried about the weather. January 1st could be a wicked day in Wisconsin. New Year's Eve the family was headed home from our cabin since I had to work that evening. I was texting Ashley to set up the final plans for the next day. We made the plans, there were facebook posts about excitement, everything was set. I went to work for 6:30p.m. and at 8:30p.m. I took my break and got the messages that changed the mood. Ashley had been sick all week and taking it easy so she would hopefully be feeling better for the run. She had told me that she wasn't feeling up to par and would be running slowly. But on my break she had texted me saying that her condition had worsened and she just didn't think it would be a good idea to run. I may have groaned out loud right in the break room. I totally understood, I knew she was really sick. I also knew that there was no way she would just bail for no reason at all. She was as excited as I was about this run even if a 5k is nothing for her these days. I knew if she said she couldn't do it then she was really sick and this illness meant business. I know that she felt awful and probably felt as though she was letting me down in some way. But I hope she realizes that that's not the case at all. I mean seriously, she ended up visiting the E.R. that night, I can't be mad at that. I know how much she wanted to do that run.
I honestly contemplated not going to the run. Really, what was the point without Ashley? It was supposed to be our thing. I sent Brian a message on break saying I wasn't sure what I was going to do. It would be so easy to just forget it and spend the day inside the house staying warm. Besides, I'd never run that far anyway, so why look like an idiot in front of all those people, right? Brian offered to go along to watch me, but then there was Parker. Brian was going to watch Parker for me while I ran and there was no way I wanted Parker to stand outside for that amount of time. So I told him no that I hadn't decided if I was even going to go. I spent the last two and a half hours of work stewing in my own thoughts. Should I? Shouldn't I? This is the conclusion I came to.
2012 would be over, and 2013 needs to be different. The 2012 me gave up easily, quit a lot of things that I started, and just didn't give 110%. Overall conclusion, 2012 was a quitter. 2013 will not be a quitter, I have been training for this run for two months, and I was going to do it. 2013 will start off a pusher. So I got home from work at 11:57p.m. didn't celebrate the new year really at all, and went to bed semi-early. I set my alarm, got up early, got into my running clothes and set off. If there was a sign of a great day, it came early. Ashley had the directions..... I have a GPS that has an attitude. I started out worried that I wasn't even going to get there on time. But, I looked up the address, and my sync system magically gave me no attitude at all!! Yes, 2013 was starting off pretty good. I was driving and looking at the temperature and the highest it got was 2 degrees. The lowest was -6 degrees. When I arrived on location it was 0 degrees. I sat in my truck for a minute or two doing the final contemplation. I could turn around right now and go home. It wouldn't make a difference. No one would know that I was ever there. It was below 0 with the windchill, and I hate the cold, and now I was doing this alone. But I took a deep breath and went inside. I got my number, 2013, everyone that preregistered was a 2013. I paced around inside the gym waiting for the starting lineup.
My motto for the color run: freeze or finish. I repeated it before the run, I repeated it while I was running. I repeated it everytime I wanted to just quit. Freeze or finish. It was the truth. Keep moving and stay warm. Stop moving and freeze. Sure the police would come and cart me to safety, but that was not an option. I was not quitting. 2013 is going to be different. I had set a goal for myself, I know that I am a slow runner, with a 13 minute mile, but today was different. I had never run in this cold of a temperature outside. So, I was generous with myself, I said if I could finish in 45 minutes I would be happy. Proud to say that I finished in 44:26! I know that's not a super great time, and yes I had to walk a few times. I made the mistake of breathing too deeply and started coughing and that went into a coughing spree. But I never stopped! Not even once, I just kept moving even if I couldn't run the whole time.
I crossed the finish line, and again realized I was alone. I did this, I started I finished, and once again nobody saw. Well, actually a lot of people saw. People that were there to see other people, and noone there to see me. But instead of it making me sad and depressed this time, it made me smile. I really had done this for me and just for me. Noone else. I didn't need anyone there, I did it for me. So I asked someone to take my picture, and then I headed home. I was happy! I did it! Ok, I know that a 5k is still not a big deal, but it is when I think about all the people that did nothing that day. I do need to add that I did have an Aunt that is really supportive of me offer to come and watch me run, but with the temperature being so cold I told her to stay home and stay warm. There's no reason to put anyone at risk of getting sick for my selfishness.
So here it is, the 2013 1st Annual Color My New Year Run:
I got icicles on my eyelashes from sweat that froze there. My thighs never did warm up the whole time, but it was great! Will I be there again next year? Hellz yes! And hopefully my bestie Ashley won't be sick and we can do it together!!!!
Until next time,
Love ya!
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