Let's try this again....

I must admit, I fell off the fitness wagon for awhile. It started with a 5k where I came in 2nd to last place. Then the next month there was a 5k where I got passed by speed walkers.....So I got all pissed off and just gave up for awhile. I was still active, but wasn't very focused. I didn't workout 5 days a week, or even 3 days a week for awhile. I wasn't watching what I shoved in my face, and in a few weeks it showed. The jeans that I was so proud to wear again were suddenly getting tighter when they had been pretty loose. I had broken my habit of getting on the scale obsessively, and it sucked. When I did get back on the scale after a few weeks of half-assing it, I was pretty upset, but not all that shocked. I knew I deserved what I got. I had gained back 7 of the pounds I had worked so hard to lose.

I was pissed and sad, and the whole gambit of emotions, but it was enough to kick me in the ass. I pulled out my mini-goal jeans and vowed to get back on track...again. I thought about how much I love my new found activities. I have noticed that since I fell off the wagon my energy level stunk, I was tired and crabby almost all the time, all the things that had made me unhappy before. So in the last week I have been getting back into my routine. I have restarted C25K and I have gotten back into working out.

I'm back on the wagon folks!!!

In the last week since I have rejoined the fitness wagon I can proudly say as of this morning I have relost the 7 pounds that I regained during my extended pity party! I know that losing 7 pounds every week isn't going to happen. I get it, this journey sucks and it's going to suck for a long time. I LOVE FOOD!!! That's what got me into this mess, I never thought about what I was putting into my body. It tasted good so I ate it. I have a huge food addiction that I know is going to cause me some setbacks. But, I will not quit. I deserve it, my son deserves it, and I will do it. I want Parker to grow up learning healthy habits to hopefully spare him from having to start the same journey when he is an adult.

Yesterday my bestie Ashley proved once again how amazing she is. I had mentioned the day before that I was considering buying a fit bit flex. But, they are in huge demand and are out of stock and on back order everywhere. Her fiancée told me that there isn't a Best Buy in the entire state that has one. Well, anyone that knows Dr. Ashley knows that silly things like that won't stop her. She had one on backorder on Amazon, but just couldn't wait any longer. She managed to find a store that had some and grabbed us each one!!!! So I set it up yesterday and plugged it in to charge while I was at work. When I got home this morning I put it on right away. I have been exploring the way it tracks, and what it can keep track of, and after Parker has tae kwon do tonight, I am going to do my C25K and we will see how it tracks that. I am super excited. I know that being my size any diet changes I make right now will result in a weight loss. But, I also know that the more active I become and the more I workout that I will need to start keeping track.

This journey is about getting a healthy lifestyle, not just losing weight. Yes of course that is the main goal, but I want  to do it in a healthy way. I need to be aware of the calories I am eating as well as the calories I am burning. It's not healthy to have  calorie deficit that is too big. I don't want to starve my body, I want to fuel my body. I have learned so many things since I started my journey. I know that I have a long way to go and it's not going to happen overnight, but I also know that's how it has to be. There is no quick fix for a lifestyle change.

That said, I will stumble, I will fall, but I will get back up , dust myself off and do it again. As my journey marches forward I look forward to all the new adventures that lay ahead of me. The first of which comes at the end of June. The run of choice for June is going to be our first obstacle course run. I am both excited and scared. It's only a 3 mile course, so it won't be nearly as bad as tough mudder, however, it will hopefully be a good gauge of where I am at compared to where I need to be to not die during tough mudder.

Until next time!!

Sunshine!!!

Hey people, the sunshine has arrived!!!! And let me tell you that I have been enjoying it every day. This is awesome, but by the end of the day I am worn out, apparently sunshine makes you sleepy! Probably has something to do with all the activity that goes with it, but I don't care I am loving it!

This weekend was a totally awesome weekend! It started right after work Saturday morning. I drove straight to Manitowac to participate in a color run with my bestie, her little man, my beastie's sister and her boyfriend, and my little man. Parker has been telling me for a long time that he wants to run with me and this seemed like the perfect chance. Ashley rocked her half marathon a short time ago, but her knee is bugging her and she needs to take it easy for awhile, so inviting our little ones to "run" with us was a double win for us.

This is us after we crossed the finish line. Sorry it's a little hazy, that's actually orange paint powder that got over the lens of my phone camera. I also have the traditional finish line photo of Ashley and I of course. It's hard to believe that I am half-way through my goal of completing one run every month for a year. This run wasn't so much of a run, Parker started out running and we finished running and walked inbetween. I am so proud of that little man! I forgot how long a5k is for such little legs, but he never stopped moving once! He kept saying "I can't do it" but I kept telling him he could do it. When we were almost finished he finally said "Maybe I can do this." And of course he did it, I knew he would! I love him and I can say I am proud of him a million times, but I can't express how much that boy amazes me. He is going to do great things.

 

After we finished the run we got some lunch then we headed home. We rested a bit, actually we both ended up taking a nap. I hadn't slept from work the night before and Parker was just beat. After our nap he and I went to Scoops for some ice cream. I had promised Parker that if he finished the whole 5k we would go for some ice cream. I know that food especially junk food should not be the reward for activities, that's what leads down the bad path I was on, but really, we don't go for ice cream often. After ice cream we got some things to make supper, rented a movie, and headed home to enjoy our night. Brian was up at our cabin with his brothers for the night so it was just Parker and I for most of the weekend.

 

Sunday when Parker woke up he came in by me and he was a bit sad, and he said "Pretty much I just miss Brian." He really does adore Brian which is awesome, but I was all like, aren't I cool enough to spend more time with? Sunday we went to the playground to play and we packed a picnic o take along. Our adventure was pretty awesome, some ducks flew into the park and were floating in the river. Then they came up onto the bank near us and took a nap. We sat in a swing and watched them for a while and ate our picnic and played on the playground. It was really just a fantastic day!

If you look closely at the edge of the grass near the tree you can see the ducks just hanging out there. I love that Parker shares my love of nature. While at the playground Parker found some dandelions and he wanted to pick them for me (yes he still thinks they are flowers) so I suggested that we bring them home for ShelLdon. I had read in my research of Greek tortoises that they enjoy the dandelions so I figured we would try it out.

Guess what, ShelLdon loved the dandelions! I now have a use for the ones that I am sure will pop up in our yard soon enough!!!

 

Sunday evening Ashley and I had some super awesome plans!! We had tickets to see Jillian Michaels, live, in real life, in person.....get it, JILLIAN FREAKING MICHAELS!!! For those who don't know, I have a big girl crush on her, and she is one of my biggest idols.  People it was freaking awesome!!!! When we got to Milwaukee we parked, Ashley was awesome enough to drive, and then walked a block to the venue. We waited a bit, then found out we were waiting at the wrong venue, and had to walk a few blocks more to get to the right place. I must admit that I am ok with the extra walk after the three hours of sitting and oogling Jillian. It was late when we got out, but it was so worth it. She is so real and said so many things that I have been thinking about since then. She is so straight forward and I love that. I don't need someone that sugar coats things, I need someone to be real with me, and she is totally real with people. I am so glad that Ashley said we should go, it was  a life changing thing for me.

People, that is really Jillian Michaels!!!

And her little girl, so adorable!

 Can't really tell it here because my battery was dying and the flash wouldn't work, but the other person in this picture is actually Dani, the most recent winner of the biggest loser!

 

It was such a fantastic weekend, I am looking so forward to many more awesome weekends this summer!!! Parker loves anything outdoors, and Ashley plans on kicking my butt into shape.....have I mentioned how much I absolutely love having Ashley back living so close again?

 

Until next time,

enjoy your life, live it to it's fullest

 

 

Giving Up

This weekend was a real eye opener for me. I know I seem to have a lot of those lately, but maybe this point in my life is about change and learning. Anyway, yesterday was my 5k for March, you remember my goal of running in one 5k every month for a year? (As it turns out I am doing a few that aren't just runs but obstacle courses, and one that is 10-12 miles long. But still fit my goal of one official run every month.) Anywhoo.... The St. Patty's day run....

Here is Ashley and I before our run. Aren't we awesome? I got us some St. Patty's bling to have some fun with our run this time. We also had on a whole spectrum of colors so we looked great! While I was doing the 5k Ashley was doing her first and logest run to date, the 17k!!! Yay go Ashley!!! She rocks incase you didn't already know that!

Going into this run I kind of still had some leftovers from last month's run. You know, being the second to last runner to finish, and getting an insane migrane at mile one....I was kind of in a funk about this run. I wanted to do so much better than last month and be proud of myself again. This run was a lot bigger than our last. There were a lot of people and I started to feel better. With all these people there had to be a few slower than me right? I know I shouldn't look at it that way, I know that even though it is a race that I am not really racing and it shouldn't matter what place I come in. It's about me and gettng healthy. But let's face it, no one really ever wants to come in last place (or second to last).

It gets close to starting time and we file outside to line up. It was cold, a few degrees above 0 and the sun was not out yet since it was 7:30am!! By the way, do they just assume that all runners are morning people? Why are these things so early in the morning? I turned on my music and that was it. At this point everything else is gone. I am surrounded by people but it means nothing. It's just me and my music. But it was still cold....hate that part. I never hear the starting signal. By that point I am always lost in my music. I just start moving when the people in front of me move. We cross the line and start to spread out. This is where I always want to just start sprinting and go, but I know that would be dumb since I can't sustain it for long. I am really working on pacing myself outdoors, I seem to have a hard time with this. So I am running and I am doing pretty well, all the fast people have cleared out and I have space to move without getting elbowed. I do pretty well for awhile then my knee starts to hurt. This has been a big fear of mine since I have started running. I have a knee problem and I have been waiting for it to start bothering me since I have started working out. But it didn't hurt that badly, just a little pain. I can deal with that. Not too worried since I know there was snow coming in today. (Yes at 26 I have a weather knee...I feel like I am 80) My shins felt great, my feet felt great, but my butt did hurt. I didn't realize that running was such a workout on your butt....total tmi there but oh well. Compared to my post on puking that's nothing. I didn't even have my usual side pain. Everytime I run outside Iget a horrible side pain. But not yesterday. It seemed like pretty quickly I was coming up the the 1 mile marker and I was still running. This has never happened before, I always have to walk a bit before then because of the side pain and not being able to breathe. But, one mile outdoors and still going.....

Then it all crashed. I got passed....passed by two people speed walking. I was like what the f*ck!!! I am running, I know I am not fast or good, but these people are speed walking and just passed me!!! That was the start of the end. About a minute later my gps apparently stopped working because the lady in my ear told me the time was 15 minutes and I had gone a distance of 0.0 miles at a pace of 0.0 miles per hour. I was getting mad and I started thinking about the last race when I was second to last. And I got even more upset. Since I was already going down the path, I started thinking about the fact that several of Ashley's family members were coming out to see her cross the finish line. I mean, she as running 10.3 miles, people should see this, but just knowing that once again there was going to be no one there to watch me...it was just the icing on the cake. I got really upset and couldn't breathe and and then I just decided that my little knee pain was too much and I quit. I just stopped. I said f*ck it I don't care. I GOT PASSED BY WALKERS!!!! As I stood there just being mad and upset I realized I was still going to have to get back to the finish line anyway, so I started walking. I forced myself to calm down because honestly I couldn't breathe and I didn't want to end up going back the finish line via medic escort. Once I was calmed down I started having an internal argument with myself. I was going back and forth about quitting. I rationalized it by saying I have a knee problem I can quit. But then I had a flash of The Biggest Loser episode where they are hanging off the building and Gina just kept repeating "Pain is temporary, quitting is forever". Yes, I know how cheesy, the fat girl running has flashbacks of The Biggest Loser.

My cheesy flashback seemed to do the trick though. I decied that I was not going to quit. I was not going to give up and just walk the whole damn thing. What kind of example will I set for my son if I give up on everything and don't give it my all? So I lost myself in my music, stopped thinking, and  started running again...of course not fast because I am slow. I run, I don't run fast, I don't run well, but I run. I did finish the 5k. My momentary weakness and giving up cost me though. It was my slowest time yet by a minute. But I have learned a lesson.

Running is mental. It is very physical, but that is the easy part. The mental part is my obstacle. I keep telling myself that I am fat that I'm not a good runner that I'm slow. I keep saying it's a joke that I'm out here and I look ridiculous. But, that is something I am working on. I am working on the mental block in front of me. I will not give up I will keep going and someday I will run an entire 5k outdoors without stopping to walk once. I have always had confidence issues, but I will not give up!!!

After I finished I waited by myself awhile, then Ashley's family came and I waited with them and I got to see my bestie finish her longest run to date!!! It was pretty cool watching her come down the finish aisle and just knowing the hard work she has put into this. I know she was nervous too, but she met her goals and killed her time goal by 8 minutes. I am so freaking proud that my bestie is so awesome! So this is me, putting it out there, I don't care if I am good or not, I will not give up!!!!

 This is after our run. I've had an hour to rest, Ashley literally just finished running 10.3 miles and she still looks fabulous!!!

So by 9am yesterday I had a total breakdown, recovered, and finished a 5k....What did you do?

Until next time,

Oshkosh 5k here we come!!! (Well, half marathon for Ashley, cuz she is that awesome!!!)

Eye Opener

Hey there, another fantastic Monday is here! Actually I don't really care for Mondays much but they are unavoidable so may as well be happy. It has actually been a productive day for me. Parker had his 6 year check up today so I didn't go to class because it's just not possible to make it from Sheboygan to Appleton in under an hour.

Anyway, I had a huge eyeopener today. Anyone that reads this knows that I have been working towards a healthy lifestyle for me and am on a weightloss journey. I have felt bad when Parker feels like he needs to work out or thinks he needs to run like I do. I want to teach my son a healthy lifestyle, but not shove it down his throat. Well, let me tell you folks, sadly that is exactly what I must do it seems. His pediatrician told me today that me son is obese. I have been aware that he has a bit of a chubby tummy, but I have never thought he was obese. She said  a lot of this has to do with the fact that he is short for his age, but still. There's that word....obese....my 6year old is obese. Now, Spring is coming so I am not worried about his physical activity level one bit. There is never an argument trying to get him to go outside and be active. But, it's his eating I need to focus on. He loves fruits and veggies, so getting him to eat them is not hard, but I need to cut out the junk. I have been doing this for myself, but when I look at my son it's like I forget that his body works the same way as mine. But this is it, no more! His pediatrician said that if he doesn't start dropping some weight in 6 months that she wants to do blood work to check his cholesterol. Again, he is 6!!!! Like I said, he has a bit of a tummy, but I never thought it was really an issue since he does eat fruits and veggies.....

So my journey is no longer about me and my wants and needs. This is now about my son. I have always had the goal of teaching him healthy habits, but now it has to be serious!

On another note, I am going to be kickig it into beast mode here shortly. Thanks to a coworker and my bestie both asking me in the same week, it appears as though I am going to be doing the Tough Mudder this year! I am scared beyond bejeesus about it but I have 6 months to train for it. I haven't much focused on strength training since I really prefer cardio, but I need to change that. I am going to need my strenght to do this. So for the next 6 months I will be nervous out of my mind. But, part of this journey is doing things that make me uncomfortable. Like Jillian says, if you don't get uncomfortable, nothing will change." So I am going to get uncomfortable and I am going to work hard and I am going to do this!!! I will be terrified and paranoid the entire time, but I will do it! I will do the best I can and even if I don't do fantastic I will know that I worked hard and did the best I could. So wish me luck people here I go!

My next 5k is this coming Sunday and I am really hoping for some good weather. I am also hoping that I can knock off some more time and improve a bit more. Secretly I am also hoping that I don't come in second last this time... but I guess I will see about that one.  Did I forget to tell you how awesome it was at my last 5k that my bestie was there at the finish line waiting for me? I have complained a few times about noone seeing me, and it really was pretty awesome having a groupie!!! This weekend I get to be Ashley's groupie again as she is doing the 17k for the same event that I am doing the 5k. I am really excited to be there for her longest timed running event thus far!!!

That's pretty much all I have for now except that midterms are in two days and I am freaking out as always!!! But it will be one step closer to becoming a college grad!

Until next time!!!

Last Weekend (In words and pictures)

I know, thrilling title. There were actually a few others that went through my head, for example, I suck, Stomach Projectilings, migrane from Hades....if you read this whole post you will understand.

Last weekend was a very busy and cram packed weekend for me. There are some weekends where I have nothing going on, and there are some weekends where I don't have a minute to think. This past weekend was one of those crazy weekends and for the most part it was pretty great. After work Saturday morning I picked Parker up from my grandma's house, and we went home. I right away started with cleaning and getting ready for his birthday party the next afternoon. I started baking the cake, I decided to make it myself just because....well, why not?

That's the batter before it got baked, pretty cool huh?

While I was baking and getting things done, my bestie Ashley texted me and said that her and her little man were going to go snow shoeing at our local nature center in a few hours and invited Parker and I to join them. I knew I had a lot to get done, but I have never been snow shoeing before and I really wanted to go. So I decided that if I got all three parts of the cake baked in time that we would go. Cakes finished baking just in time for me to change my clothes and us to head out the door. So, snow shoeing we went.

I have to admit, it got a little long and it was a bit colder than I would have liked, but it really was a blast! Parker had a great time and he said he wants to do it again! I have realized since my bestie moved back home, how many things we have right at our finger tips that can get us out and active and still be a great fun family activity. I always love our play dates! After we got home from snow shoeing we were pretty pooped. I made some supper while Parker warmed up.

After supper he pretty much zonked out within 5 minutes. I took a 2 hour or so nap then got up and went back to work on my cake. It was about 4a.m. when I got to bed, and had the alarm set for 7am Sunday morning. Because of course, what should you do before a birthday party? You should run a 5k that's what! So that's what Ashley and I did. We participated in the 1st Annual Schneelauf run in Elkhart Lake. It was actually a pretty decent day out, about 28 degrees and not too windy, but there was not the sunshine that there was supposed to be so it was still pretty darn cold. I have added another shirt to my collection of runing shirts, and completed another run in my year of runs! I cannot lie, I am dissappointed in this run though. I came in 2nd last. There was only 1 other runner after me and it was an older gentleman. I knew pretty much the whole time that I was almost last and I wanted to quit. I wanted to just stop and walk off and take a shortcut back to the ending spot. But I knew that my bestie was there waiting for me. I also knew that this was the smallest run that I had ever been in, there were only 101 runners and a handful of walkers. Also, about a mile in I got this shooting pain through my brain. I have suffered from migranes for a long time, but this was a killer. And it struck at the worst time possible! I mean really, a mile into my run? So I pushed through, and I had to walk at times, but I did not stop and I did not quit. I finished, and I actually ended up cutting just over a minute off of my January 5k time. I know that I shouldn't be dissappointed, I cut a minute off my time even with the migrane from Hades. But, noone wants to finish that close to the end. I mean, 2nd last at 26 and the only person after me was in his 50's? But you know what, I was out there, I did it. I am working to make the changes in my life so that I can run that whole 5k someday. So that I don't come in last or 2nd last. So that when I am in my 50's I can run a 5k and maybe be the inspiration to that person chugging along at the end feeling badly about themselves.

So, here it is, my 3rd run in my year of runs, and I'm already signed up for the next one in March. I hope to cut some more time off and I'm also hoping for some warmer weather.

 

After the run we headed back home. I jumped in the shower, then set out getting the rest of the things ready for Parker's birthday party. Here is where I have to start giving thanks, pretty much every person that walked into my house got put to work. I have some awesome friends and family! I got to see a friend that I used to work with, I feel really special that she took the time to drive almost an hour to celebrate my son with me!!! Nara, you rock!!!

Parker had a magician themed party, so of course I had magic candles. Surprisingly he took it pretty well and just kept blowing them out. There was one that just kept relighting it was pretty hilarious!

 

For the entire party I still had my massive headache, and it was making me feel really not great at all. I had one taco to eat, and could not even eat a piece of cake. I took one bite.

 

****Disclosure, not for the weak of stomach****

Those of you that left the party earlier than others, consider yourself lucky. All of a sudden my feeling not great turned into feeling really not great and I knew there was going to be puke. Let's just say it was not pretty all across my kitchen floor, in the bathroom, and I somehow managed to make a stunning spray across the wall that I still haven't figured out. Here is where I have to give huge thanks. My sister and Brian are absolutely amazing!!! I cannot thank them enough! And to my niece who unfortunatly did not listen to the warning to stay out of the kitchen and had a falling incident I am sorry. I hope that is not a memory of me that you keep for too long.

 

Thankfully there are no pictures of this portion of the weekend so you are now safe. I can't believe that my little baby is going to be 6. Yes, it was not actually his birthday, but due to scheduling I usually have his party a week early. He said he had a great party and he really likes all of his gifts so all in all it was a good day! After the party and....the stomach projectilings, he and I went upstairs and both zonked out watching tv and snuggling. I'm happy that he still isn't too old to snuggle when one of us isn't feeling well.

 

Join me again next week when I am sure I will sob about my baby growing up too fast and all that jazz that you get from mothers.

 

Until then, let me leave you with a quote that really struck me today.

"Pain is temporary, quitting is forever!" 

 







How I do it

 It seems like every day at least one person says to me "I don't know how you do it." They mean, work full time, go to school 3/4 time, and still have time for my family. To be honest, I'm not really sure how I do it either. I just do. Most days I only get about 4 hours of sleep. I pay for that on the weekends. I am usually in bed by 10 or 11p.m. and sleep until 7a.m. Let me tell you, that messes with the 3rd shift work schedule. On Wednesdays I have class after work. By the time I get home it's time for lunch, which is the only time I get to see my fiancee during the week, and after that I have maybe an hour before Parker gets done with school. Thank you school district for getting out an hour early every single Wednesday...can someone please tell me why this is necessary? With everything else I still find time for myself. I have my bestest best friend to thank for that. My weight has been spiriling out of control the last couple of years. I have made every excuse in the book as to why it didn't matter. One of them being time. When did I have time to work out?

Well let me tell you, making the time to work out has been one of the best things I have done lately. Life is stressful, everyone seems  to think I make my crazy schedule look easy, but it comes with a lot of stress. During the week I am pretty much a single parent. Brian works 2nd shift so he is gone before Parker gets done with school. So homework supper and "tubbies" are all up to me. I have always said that I didn't have my son so that I could ignore him. But I have learned that taking time to workout is by no means ignoring him. In fact, it has been one more activity that we have started doing together. I am trying to teach my son healthy habits so he never has to get to the point that I hit. I am looking forward to this summer and getting outside to run with him. He loves to just go go go so why not let him? Sometimes he doesn't want to work out with me when I do it, so he just does what he does. He is after all, almost 6. He is capable of playing upstairs by himself long enough for me to work out and shower. He actually told me I didn't work out long enough the other day, his show wasn't over with yet.

Going back to school a year ago was a big decision that affected the stress in my life. It has been stressfull, but worth it. I realized that putting it off wasn't going to make it any easier. Now I am mad that I didn't go back sooner. But, that's the past and I am focused on the present. I do this because I want to be the best possible version of myself!

A couple weeks ago Ashley and I went to yoga on Thursday instead of Friday, before class starts we always get a quote to come back to during our yoga. On that particular day the quote was "Be the change you wish to see in the world" from Ghandi. I have come back to that quote several time since then. Iam not thinking so much the world, but my family. I wish for my son to go to college, so that is why I do it. I wish for my son to make healthy choices, so that is why I do it. Honestly I don't know how I do it some days either, but I do it. I don't think about it, I just do it. It needs to be done. I've got no time for excuses anymore.

And to end my post today, I got the rest of my Valentine's Day present from Brian this past weekend!!! Her name is ShelLdon (yes the second L is capitalized on purpose) and she is a Greek tortoise. Parker has decided that her middle name is "the tortoise" so her full name would be ShelLdon The Tortoise Bernard. (Please do not tell her that ShelLdon is a boys name, I had it picked out before I knew she was a girl and I was pretty stuck on it.) Anyway, she is quite amuzing and I am rather enjoying her. I guess that's good because their average lifespan is 50 years with some of them living as long as 70.

 The guy at the pet store said it could take a few months for her to get comfortable, but she is already really sociable. Whenever I pick her up she sticks her head and legs out instead of pulling them in. She was soaking in her water bowl today which is a great sign that she is all comfy in her new home. So we are now getting quite the zoo in our house. 3 humans a boxer, guinea pig, and a tortoise.

Have a fantastic day!!!!

It's been Awhile..

Throwback to some Stained there in the title! But it's true, it has been awhile. I kind of knew that it would be once classes started again. My crazy life gets a littel crazier then. And the further along I get in school the harder it gets, who would have thought? Anyway, on to my life.

Ashley and I have started doing hot yoga. This is basically yoga but what makes it so appealing is it done in a hot room. Let me tell you, with Wisconsin winter on in full blast, hot yoga was just the escape we needed. We have gone twice now, and done a session with each of the two instructors. They each have their own style, but are both just as effective. Yoga is really quite a workout, but it is so relaxing. After it's over it is usually time for me to take a quick nap before work, and let me tell you, I fall asleep right away and sleep like a little baby. I don't want to get up when my alarm goes off, but I usually don't want to any night. Working 3rd shift really sucks! I really don't like it. But, I love my son and it's what I have to do, working 2nd is not an option anymore.

This week was pretty awesome, back in October I had gotten Brian and I tickets to see Jeff Dunham live in Green Bay and it was finally time to go see him this past Friday!!!! I was so excited!!! Traffic was nuts, and I slipped and fell on the stairs in the place and I have some awesome sore spots from it, but oh well. It was so worth it!!! I am really glad that we went, it was so worth taking a night of vacation from work.

Yesterday I was working on getting Parker's birthday party invitations finalized and printed out, but my printer would not cooperate with me. Growl! But I can't believe that my baby is turning 6 in three weeks! I know that all moms go through this every year as their kids get older, but it just blows my mind. My little guy isn't so little anymore. He is independant and sassy and smart and just overall amazing! Again lately I have been getting questioned by several people as to when Brian and I are going to have a baby. Sorry people my answer still has not changed. We are still a one child family. It's true I do have a sadness at the fact that my baby will never again be that tiny baby that I could hold whenever I wanted. That little baby that I could comfort so quickly when others could not. He is now a boy that I get to watch grow and learn. I guess that sadness isn't strong enough for me to want to be pregnant again. I was not good at being pregnant and I do not wish to go through it again. So, I guess I will just be stuck being sad that my baby isn't a baby anymore.

After birthday invitation making I got some cleaning done, then went to the store and got some supplies. I had some people over to play dominoes last night. Not a party or anything just my sister and her crew and my brother and my bestie and her little man. It's funny that some people my age (kids or no kids) spend their Saturday nights out partying and drinking all night and I am perfectly happy being at home with a few people playing a nice mild game of dominoes. Sometimes we even get wild and play cards! I have to say, I really do love my life!

So Valentine's day is coming up next week....Boy are we romantic this house, Brian wants and is getting a chainsaw for Valentine's day. As for me, he told me what his idea is to get me, and it's something that I have been saying that I really want so I am excited! Sorry, can't spill what it is cause that would ruin the surprise! Honestly though, I have been thinking abouttelling him not to get me that though because it's something that I really don't need and really isn't useful in any way it's just something I saw and would like to have. I have thought about telling him to just put that money towards the new treadmill that I would like to buy myself. I really actually need a treadmill and it would be really usefull. I had one for a few weeks before it broke and tried to throw me out of a 2nd story window. I don't know.... I still haven't decided on a treadmill though. They are kind of expensive for  a really nice one. But then I think of the cost of my health and weight loss journey vs the cost of a gym membership around here and I don't think a treadmill is all that expensive. I guess we shall see. So for Valentine's day Brian will enjoy his chainsaw, which actually benifits me as well since he wants it so he can cut wood for burning at the cabin, and I will enjoy my....still can't tell you what it is!!!! And we will go on in our super romantic ways of life! Next time I write I will try to put a picture of my Valentine's gift so you can see what it is!! It's pretty good, that man actually does listen to me when I talk!
Until then!