It's Over!

Christmas is over! Don't get me wrong I love Christmas, but I am glad it's over. (Well almost. My sister and brother are coming over this weekend to do our own little family thing like we always do.) Every year I get all hyped up about the holidays and this perfect little picture that I have in my head of how I want things to be and how they should be. In my head things are all nice and happy and perfect. I just have this perfect family picture in my head that I've had ever since I was a little girl. Anyone that knows me knows that my family life has been totally messed up. Having a great family has always been a top priority for me. My family is quite fantastic. My immediate family is great, Brian, Parker, me and our zoo. Outside of that there is my sister and her little family, Aaron, and their two kids Aidan and Lana. I absolutely adore those two kids. Aidan has a special place in my heart because he is my first and so far only nephew. It's been amazing to watch him grow and become the person that he is today. Lana is special to me because she is so far my only niece and since Parker is a boy she is my little girl outlet. She's my little diva. She shares my love of shoes and clothes and I love that!!! I also have my brother Mike who so far doesn't have any kids, but he is still a youngin' so it's cool, and his girlfriend Hailey.

Anyway, back to this Christmas. When I was real little, there were 6 of us kids. We had a big family and big family gatherings. Growing up I always dreamt of a big family. I thought I would have 3 or 4 kids. After Parker I realized maybe the big family wasn't for me. I like to work and I like to spoil my son. If there were 4 kids, could I give them all the same amount of attention and spoiling that Parker gets? At this point the decision is easy because Brian doesn't want any children. He gets to enjoy Parker and that's enough for him and it's enough for me. Parker is all independent and stuff and to go back to having a tiny baby isn't what I want. But anyway, this makes my Christmas visions all messy. First off, Parker's dad is a giant douche and every year pulls some crap move. This year it was just simply taking him out of state without my permission and keeping him for 3 days that I was supposed to have him. It meant that instead of having him Christmas eve night and waking up here Christmas morning, I didn't get him until Christmas morning at 10am. This right there just kind of killed my Christmas mood.  I already wasn't feelin it and Brian doesn't enjoy family things. He doesn't like family gatherings, he doesn't like doing the whole gift thing, he just doesn't like it. I try to ignore that and I usually do but it gets to me. We went to my Grandma's house after getting Parker and Becky and crew came too. But it wasn't that enjoyable to me because the whole time I was sitting there thinking, man I hope Lori doesn't show up. Mike doesn't really go to our family things much and I understand it totally, but I didn't see Mike at all on Christmas. That bugs me. Once again, my perfect picture just doesn't turn out perfect and I wanna throw a fit.

After my Grandma's we went back home and Parker was super cranky as he usually is after spending a few days with his dad. He took a rest for about half and hour, then he did the presents from us. He was pretty happy with his gifts, the only thing he told me that he wanted for Christmas was the Disney infinity game, so that's what he got. Yeah, yeah he is spoiled. Oh well. After our gift opening we waited a bit then we went to Brian's parent's house and Parker did more gifts there. We visited for awhile then left there and we went to see the movie Frozen. I wanted us to do a little family activity together. I had invited Mike and Becky, but it was Christmas and they had stuff so I understood and that was fine. After the movie we ate a late supper, sat a bit, and then went to bed. Yeah, we were all in bed by like 10pm, aren't we rebels? Parker always says adults get to go to bed whenever they want, if he only knew on my days off I am in bed just about right after him.

I guess my Christmas wasn't bad, but it once again just wasn't the perfect picture that I had in my head. I am grateful for my family and thankful for everything I just feel like I am constantly searching for a way to make up for the fails of my childhood.

(ask him about his t-rex, it's awesome)

 

(told you, it's great!)

 

So, Christmas is over, and I know that New Year's hasn't hit yet, but I have set some goals. I'm not sure that I wanna talk about them a lot, but I've got some big goals for 2014. Why wait for 2014 to start? One of my biggest issues is procrastination so I'm working on that one. So after I finish up this post and put some laundry away, I am going to hit the treadmill for awhile. One of my goals is to get back into working out again. I had been doing well for a long time last year and then just stopped pretty much. Well, I'm ready to get back into it. I am hoping to include Parker a lot in it this year. I know that it's very important to teach him healthy habits for life.

 

I hope everybody had a fantastic holiday!