Two days after Christmas and I am happy to say that I weigh less than I did before our first Christmas gathering! Not much less, but less. December has been tough for me, I have been losing the same few pounds all month long. My treadmill has been trying to kill me so there have been days when I can't run because we had a blizzard and couldn't get outside, or when Parker was home and I can't run outside. So, December has been frustrating and surprising at the same time. Surprising is the fact that I am becoming on of "them". By them I mean one of those people that enjoys working out. I find that I now get grumpy if I don't run for a few days in a row. Sometimes when I can't run I willingly turn to a workout dvd. I never would have done this a few months ago. The changes in myself are good changes.
Two days after Christmas the Christmas depression has passed and I am happy that it's over. Well, we have a small thing for the kids yet but it's ok, noone there I don't feel like dealing with since it's at my house. Although, I have a lot to do to get ready, but oh well. Christmas for me is full of mixed feelings. I always get all excited and end up completely let down. I loved seeing the look on Parker's face when he got to see the room we remodeled for him. When it comes to my family, Parker Brian and I, everything is great. It's all the other family functions that get to me. I just get exhausted. It's always disappointing because I have always wanted the perfect family functions that would come right from a movie. I know that it's unrealistic and that no famiy has this, but really people if you knew how dysfunctional my family is you would understand why I just want things to be different. There are members of my family that haven't spoken in as long as I have been alive. I know the situation behind this, and until a few years ago I wished that they could get along, but then there was a turn of events and I agree with the party that keeps the anger. I fell victim to the same family member and now our whole family is just documentary on how things should not be.
I shouldn't say my whole family, my grandmother has always been there for me and I think it's so special that my son gets to spend a good amount of time with his great grandmother. I also have an aunt that is really supportive of me. I am also very blessed to have an older sister that has been my sister and my rock for my whole life. She is such a great person and I wish I could be more like her. She is the nice one, I am the one that speaks her mind. There is really just one person in the mix that causes a problem. Out of respect for the family members that I know read my blog sometimes, I won't call her out or tell the world what she has done. If I come back and read this in 10 years I will still remember why we don't speak. My family, me my brother and sister, have enough decency that we can all be in the same room with her without spouting nasty words, but things will never be like a family should.
Most of my life I have had the hope of a fairytale life someday. I've always wanted to be married for 50 years like my grandparents were and grow old together and have 3 or 4 kids and lots of grandchildren someday. Then I had my son and I realized I only want 1 child. (Guess it's a good thing that Parker is absolutely perfect!) Then I realized I chose the wrong person to be with and I got a divorce. Now I'm 26 and Brian is amazing and being together almost 4 years and we are engaged but not yet married, I may have to settle for growing old and being with him for 50 years. We may not make 50 years of marriage, but that's another thing I have learned from my sister, you don't have to be married to have a great family. My fairytale has changed a little, but I love my life. Brian and I bought a cabin together in October. The former owners had the cabin for 32 years, and I hope we are the same. It's a place that is ours we bought it together my son will grow up there. I own my house, but it's just mine and honestly after my divorce I can't bring myself to make my house our house. I have to protect me and my son.
It seems I have gotten off topic. Back to Christmas. I got nothing. Nothing! I know as an adult it's not about me anymore, I dont' expect any gifts from my family, but from Brian? Yeah, I kind of expected something. Is that selfish? I got him something pretty nice and after opening it he said he feels like an ass now. I'm not mad, I was a bit depressed about it for a day, but I'm over it. And yesterday I went shopping with Ashley and I bought a brand new pair of running shoes. The pair I have is still good,but I found out they are very wrong for me and the way I run and these new ones should really help with my shin splints and foot pain that I have been having. I won't think about how much I spent on them I won't feel bad abou it, the awesome body that I will have someday from running and working out will be worth the money I spent. But, I haven't told Brian how much I spent, he isn't big on spending money on clothing and shoes and things, he says just go cheap it will be ok. The new shoes I got are pretty cool, and technically don't come out until January, but I got them now. Ok, so that's not a big deal, if the guy hadn't told me that they weren't out yet I never would have known. But it's still pretty cool to say I got them before they came out.
That's pretty much it for now I got my little rant out, I'm ready to start the new year and continue working on the improved awesome me!
Until next time!
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
T minusTwo Weeks
Great day to you in blog world!
Ok, so nothing outstandingly great about it, but I am alive and well and my son and fiance are alive and healthy. I couldn't ask for more. There are a lot of bad things that go on in the world today, I don't think I need to go into the details of the recent horrors of the elementary school shooting a few days ago. Needless to say, everyone is holding their children a little closer and a little longer these days.
I could go on for hours about that topic, but really, it can't change anything. I have been one of those people that has always appreciated my son and know everyday how lucky I am to have him. Most people that know me know that my pregnancy with Parker wasn't that great and it ended pretty scarily. He was induced early as me staying pregnant with him was more of a danger to both him and I than the risk of him being born early. He was on the verge of having a heart attack just seconds before his entry into the world, I think that was one of the scariest moments of my life. Becoming a mother for the first time is pretty scary as it is, but to have it start out by hearing that your nearly born baby is going to have a heart attack if he isn't born quickly is scary. But, even with everything, Parker was almost perfectly healthy. He did have to get admitted to Children's Hospital the day after we got to take him home, but it was only a case of jaundice. He has had to have heart tests, but other than a heart murmer he appears to have no signs of the heart disease that his father has. So, to say that I count my blessings every day is an understatement.
The point of my blog today was supposed to be about...you guessed it, running. Running and fitness seem to be pretty high on my list of discussion topics these days. It's ok I guess, it just still really surprises me that these things come out of my mouth. So anyway, on my way home from work this morning I wasn't really feeling very tired, so I decided that I was going to go for a run when I got home. Before I went out I downloaded a new app to use during my runs. I absolutely love c25k and cannot say enough good things about it, and I cannot lie, I did not finish the entire 9 weeks, but once you get to a certain point it's easy to take the reigns yourself. I needed the structure when I first started running, but now I am at the point where I can run 25 minutes straight on the treadmill and getting close to the 5k distance so I feel comfortable on my own. Anyway, I wanted something to track my distance and time still, and I found an app that does this and tracks my goals and calories burned at the same time. It was only 28 degrees out but rather sunny so it wasn't that bad, and halfway through my run I remember thinking about how warm I was even though I didn't dress too heavily I was still sweating pretty good and at one point actually hot. Thinking back on it afterwards, I have decided that I am losing my mind and should consult professional help. The me from a few months ago would never have voluntarily gone out into the cold let alone go out there in the cold to go running. But once I was out there I enjoyed the scenery and the thoughts in my head.
One of the thoughts that I had was that the Color My New Year 5k Run is exactly two weeks away! I dont' know why but for some reason I was honestly thinking that it was still 3 weeks away. I am super pumped and excited, but at the same time nervous. I was really hoping to be doing a lot better by this point. I've written before about how frustrated I get running outside in the cold and how frustrating it is that I am still at a 14 minute mile. I am really trying to not get frustrated and to just get out there and do it. I don't have to be the best, it's not in any way a competition for me. I do have a goal of someday being able to keep pace with my bestie, but not in a competative way at all. Just in a way that we can actually run together and run together. Right now I am just enjoying the fact that my bestie has gotten me started on this journey and that we are in this together!
So here we are, two weeks away from my first ever running 5k! The run that seemed so far away when I started running is now only two weeks away and will be my 2nd run in my year of runs.
Until next time...happy running!!!
Ok, so nothing outstandingly great about it, but I am alive and well and my son and fiance are alive and healthy. I couldn't ask for more. There are a lot of bad things that go on in the world today, I don't think I need to go into the details of the recent horrors of the elementary school shooting a few days ago. Needless to say, everyone is holding their children a little closer and a little longer these days.
I could go on for hours about that topic, but really, it can't change anything. I have been one of those people that has always appreciated my son and know everyday how lucky I am to have him. Most people that know me know that my pregnancy with Parker wasn't that great and it ended pretty scarily. He was induced early as me staying pregnant with him was more of a danger to both him and I than the risk of him being born early. He was on the verge of having a heart attack just seconds before his entry into the world, I think that was one of the scariest moments of my life. Becoming a mother for the first time is pretty scary as it is, but to have it start out by hearing that your nearly born baby is going to have a heart attack if he isn't born quickly is scary. But, even with everything, Parker was almost perfectly healthy. He did have to get admitted to Children's Hospital the day after we got to take him home, but it was only a case of jaundice. He has had to have heart tests, but other than a heart murmer he appears to have no signs of the heart disease that his father has. So, to say that I count my blessings every day is an understatement.
The point of my blog today was supposed to be about...you guessed it, running. Running and fitness seem to be pretty high on my list of discussion topics these days. It's ok I guess, it just still really surprises me that these things come out of my mouth. So anyway, on my way home from work this morning I wasn't really feeling very tired, so I decided that I was going to go for a run when I got home. Before I went out I downloaded a new app to use during my runs. I absolutely love c25k and cannot say enough good things about it, and I cannot lie, I did not finish the entire 9 weeks, but once you get to a certain point it's easy to take the reigns yourself. I needed the structure when I first started running, but now I am at the point where I can run 25 minutes straight on the treadmill and getting close to the 5k distance so I feel comfortable on my own. Anyway, I wanted something to track my distance and time still, and I found an app that does this and tracks my goals and calories burned at the same time. It was only 28 degrees out but rather sunny so it wasn't that bad, and halfway through my run I remember thinking about how warm I was even though I didn't dress too heavily I was still sweating pretty good and at one point actually hot. Thinking back on it afterwards, I have decided that I am losing my mind and should consult professional help. The me from a few months ago would never have voluntarily gone out into the cold let alone go out there in the cold to go running. But once I was out there I enjoyed the scenery and the thoughts in my head.
One of the thoughts that I had was that the Color My New Year 5k Run is exactly two weeks away! I dont' know why but for some reason I was honestly thinking that it was still 3 weeks away. I am super pumped and excited, but at the same time nervous. I was really hoping to be doing a lot better by this point. I've written before about how frustrated I get running outside in the cold and how frustrating it is that I am still at a 14 minute mile. I am really trying to not get frustrated and to just get out there and do it. I don't have to be the best, it's not in any way a competition for me. I do have a goal of someday being able to keep pace with my bestie, but not in a competative way at all. Just in a way that we can actually run together and run together. Right now I am just enjoying the fact that my bestie has gotten me started on this journey and that we are in this together!
So here we are, two weeks away from my first ever running 5k! The run that seemed so far away when I started running is now only two weeks away and will be my 2nd run in my year of runs.
Until next time...happy running!!!
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Jillian
Dear Jillian,
I do believe you are trying to kill me with your thousand squats per workout, but thank you. If you must know, my butt hurts all night at work, but it's that good hurt that means I have been working out.
Victoria
By Jillian I of course mean Jillian Michaels. I have been doing one of her at home work out DVD's borrowed to me by Ashley of course, and she kicks my butt every time. By 9:30a.m. this morning I have worked 7 and a half hours, ran 1.54 miles (short run today, was my off day, but it was so nice after work that I just felt like running anyway) and got my butt kicked by Jillian for half an hour. As I was running, I was thinking about some things I would maybe like to buy with the Christmas bonus we got at work today. Here was my list: long sleeve running shirts, more running socks, new earbuds as mine fall apart sometimes, compression leggings from Old Navy, and there was something else but I can't think of it at this moment. Guess I should have been writing this down as I was running. I have to be honest, the items on my list actually frighten me a bit. Everything on it was something to do with working out. No way is that where my mind went with last year's bonus. A lot has changed since then though. I think this is finally the time I stick to the lifestyle changes that I need to make to get back the body I once had. Of course I am sure the stretch marks are here forever,but Parker is so darn cute that I will wear my stretch marks with pride if I get back my bikini body. Would I really ever wear a bikini again though I wonder? I guess if I put in all the effort to make it look good, I should at least rock it a little bit. Being able to step on the scale and see the number going down on an almost daily basis is such a great feeling! I can weigh myself with my clothes on right now and still weigh less than I did without clothes on a month ago. That feels pretty darn good.
I realized today how close the Color My New Year Run is getting. It frustrates me that I still have about a 13 minute mile, but I guess it's pretty normal for someone my size based on posts I have read on the fitness group I am in on Facebook. I would love to be around the 10 minute mile by now, but I know that I am working hard and I will get there. It also frustrates me the difference between running outside and running on a treadmill. On the treadmill I can run 20 to 25 minutes straight and not walk. When I get outside I can't seem to pace myself properly, and I have to walk a minute about every 7 minutes or so. I also get this side pain when I run outside and I can't breathe as well either. I very much love running outside because of the fresh air and the scenery though. I ran outside today, and I kind of want to kick the people that still have not bothered to clean the ice off of their sidewalks from the snow 4 days ago!!! I usually lose myself a lot more in an outside run, but today I had to pay attention to make sure I didn't fall on my butt.
Christmas is creeping up very quickly, hoping to get Parker's room remodel finished in time. His bed is going to be built this weekend though and after that everything should go quickly it's mostly the decorating stuff then. I have not stained the wood for his baseboards and trim yet but I don't really have space to lay it out to stain it with everything from that room in a different room, plus the old carpeting is rolled up upstairs, and the Christmas tree and treadmill are in the spot I usually do my wood staining. But, he is 5 I highly doubt the focus of his attention will be on his baseboard.
One thing I have noticed, healthy food does not fill you up nearly as well as junk food. I have really been trying to pay attention to what I eat, and I have been happy with it, however I eat before work and by the time I take my first break I am so freaking hungry again it's just crazy! Digging into my new Hungry Girl Cookbook for lunch today.....let's not tell Brian that he is eating healthy food or he won't eat it just on principle.
Until next time!
I do believe you are trying to kill me with your thousand squats per workout, but thank you. If you must know, my butt hurts all night at work, but it's that good hurt that means I have been working out.
Victoria
By Jillian I of course mean Jillian Michaels. I have been doing one of her at home work out DVD's borrowed to me by Ashley of course, and she kicks my butt every time. By 9:30a.m. this morning I have worked 7 and a half hours, ran 1.54 miles (short run today, was my off day, but it was so nice after work that I just felt like running anyway) and got my butt kicked by Jillian for half an hour. As I was running, I was thinking about some things I would maybe like to buy with the Christmas bonus we got at work today. Here was my list: long sleeve running shirts, more running socks, new earbuds as mine fall apart sometimes, compression leggings from Old Navy, and there was something else but I can't think of it at this moment. Guess I should have been writing this down as I was running. I have to be honest, the items on my list actually frighten me a bit. Everything on it was something to do with working out. No way is that where my mind went with last year's bonus. A lot has changed since then though. I think this is finally the time I stick to the lifestyle changes that I need to make to get back the body I once had. Of course I am sure the stretch marks are here forever,but Parker is so darn cute that I will wear my stretch marks with pride if I get back my bikini body. Would I really ever wear a bikini again though I wonder? I guess if I put in all the effort to make it look good, I should at least rock it a little bit. Being able to step on the scale and see the number going down on an almost daily basis is such a great feeling! I can weigh myself with my clothes on right now and still weigh less than I did without clothes on a month ago. That feels pretty darn good.
I realized today how close the Color My New Year Run is getting. It frustrates me that I still have about a 13 minute mile, but I guess it's pretty normal for someone my size based on posts I have read on the fitness group I am in on Facebook. I would love to be around the 10 minute mile by now, but I know that I am working hard and I will get there. It also frustrates me the difference between running outside and running on a treadmill. On the treadmill I can run 20 to 25 minutes straight and not walk. When I get outside I can't seem to pace myself properly, and I have to walk a minute about every 7 minutes or so. I also get this side pain when I run outside and I can't breathe as well either. I very much love running outside because of the fresh air and the scenery though. I ran outside today, and I kind of want to kick the people that still have not bothered to clean the ice off of their sidewalks from the snow 4 days ago!!! I usually lose myself a lot more in an outside run, but today I had to pay attention to make sure I didn't fall on my butt.
Christmas is creeping up very quickly, hoping to get Parker's room remodel finished in time. His bed is going to be built this weekend though and after that everything should go quickly it's mostly the decorating stuff then. I have not stained the wood for his baseboards and trim yet but I don't really have space to lay it out to stain it with everything from that room in a different room, plus the old carpeting is rolled up upstairs, and the Christmas tree and treadmill are in the spot I usually do my wood staining. But, he is 5 I highly doubt the focus of his attention will be on his baseboard.
One thing I have noticed, healthy food does not fill you up nearly as well as junk food. I have really been trying to pay attention to what I eat, and I have been happy with it, however I eat before work and by the time I take my first break I am so freaking hungry again it's just crazy! Digging into my new Hungry Girl Cookbook for lunch today.....let's not tell Brian that he is eating healthy food or he won't eat it just on principle.
Until next time!
Monday, December 10, 2012
The Weekend
Sorry,
No snappy title for this post. I already used Just Peachy a few posts ago and the feeling is pretty much the same today. The holidays are supposed to be a time for family togetherness and bonding and happiness and all that good stuff. I very much enjoy having my brother and sister and her family over to celebrate Christmas, but the time leading up to that day just seems to have plenty of stress. We have been working on remodeling Parker's playroom into his new bedroom, or should I say I have been working on it. Up until yesterday Brian had not done a single thing to help. Besides that, I have been trying to get the Christmas decorations put up in the house which has not been going that great. I put up the living room decorations only to have them fall down over the night so I had to put them up again. The giant plastic snowflakes hanging from the dining room ceiling have stayed up so far but I did hang them a little low so Brian has to watch where he is walking or he hits his head on them.
Anyway, this weekend has been anything but happy and joyous. I work full time and go to school 3/4 time, I have Parker, and I have been making time for myselef to work out lately so I am very busy these days. Brian and I have an arrangement, he does the outside work and I do the inside work, but he hasn't actually done any outside work since October, and he refuses to help with the inside work. So, we have been at a bit of a stand off, he won't do anything, why should I? He gets 10 hours of sleep a day, I get an average of 4 hours a day during the week and try to make up for it some on the weekends. The stand off does not seem to be working though. He still will not do something as small as take out the garbage, and the work is piling up and it's driving me nuts. Added to that, he seems to enjoy pointing out all of the things that I need to get done, but never once offers to help. I understand that the house he grew up in he never had to do cleaning or chores, he did outside things. But seriously, to not do any outside things in 2 months and then get on my case because I didn't do the dishes. What did you do besides sleep? Sorry, I love him and he is usually great, but it's really getting to me right now. He has been a total shithead about me working out and says at least once a week if I would stop working out every day that I would have more time to do house work.
The end of the school semester is near and to be honest I am very excited about it. This semester has kicked my butt and I am ready for a break. I just finished a long research paper, I have a final tomorrow and a final paper due this week. There is another test, and then I think that I am finished for a month. I plan on finding a good book to read that isn't related to school. I plan on doing some hardcore cleaning to get the house ready for the holiday company. I plan on getting in some good runs. so even on my time off I am not planning on getting much time off. Brian has also said that he would like to go to our cabin. But, I'm not sure about that. It snowed pretty good here, I would say at least 4 inches, so I imagine that it snowed even worse up north. Anyone that knows me knows that I hate the snow. I hate winter I hate the cold I pretty much hate it all. Running and working out has become a great source of stress relief for me. My bestest best friend has borrowed me a Jillian Michaels workout dvd and she is kicking my a$$. But I have enjoyed it, and must admit that I bought another Jillian Michaels workout dvd today for my Christmas stocking. I also got the new Hungry Girl cook book. I love the Hungry Girl books! I dont' think that one is making it to my stocking though since I was glancing it over and I have found a few things that I plan on making this week already.
Parker's room remodel is coming along. Brian and his brother put down the new carpet yesterday. The building of the new bed needs to be done yet, probably the key element. Until then I have stuff from that room in about 3 other rooms upstairs and its pretty crowded. I can't get rid of Parker's old bed until the new one is done so I have the contents of 2 bedrooms right now. I also have warp pipes to make and bricks and mystery blocks to paint. There is wall decals to be put up and baseboards to be stained. And only a few weeks to get it done. Then I need to get everything cleaned up and in order so the house looks good for Christmas.
I already hate the snow, and after this weekend I like it even less. Ashley and I were supposed to have some bestie time, but then it snowed and snowed and snowed the whole day and we had to cancel our plans. It did not improve my mood at all and to retaliate I pretty much did nothing. I watched some movies and then went to sleep.
That was pretty much my weekend, new carpet, some painting, movies, sleep, and some working out. Now it's Monday and back to work tonight.
Until next time!
No snappy title for this post. I already used Just Peachy a few posts ago and the feeling is pretty much the same today. The holidays are supposed to be a time for family togetherness and bonding and happiness and all that good stuff. I very much enjoy having my brother and sister and her family over to celebrate Christmas, but the time leading up to that day just seems to have plenty of stress. We have been working on remodeling Parker's playroom into his new bedroom, or should I say I have been working on it. Up until yesterday Brian had not done a single thing to help. Besides that, I have been trying to get the Christmas decorations put up in the house which has not been going that great. I put up the living room decorations only to have them fall down over the night so I had to put them up again. The giant plastic snowflakes hanging from the dining room ceiling have stayed up so far but I did hang them a little low so Brian has to watch where he is walking or he hits his head on them.
Anyway, this weekend has been anything but happy and joyous. I work full time and go to school 3/4 time, I have Parker, and I have been making time for myselef to work out lately so I am very busy these days. Brian and I have an arrangement, he does the outside work and I do the inside work, but he hasn't actually done any outside work since October, and he refuses to help with the inside work. So, we have been at a bit of a stand off, he won't do anything, why should I? He gets 10 hours of sleep a day, I get an average of 4 hours a day during the week and try to make up for it some on the weekends. The stand off does not seem to be working though. He still will not do something as small as take out the garbage, and the work is piling up and it's driving me nuts. Added to that, he seems to enjoy pointing out all of the things that I need to get done, but never once offers to help. I understand that the house he grew up in he never had to do cleaning or chores, he did outside things. But seriously, to not do any outside things in 2 months and then get on my case because I didn't do the dishes. What did you do besides sleep? Sorry, I love him and he is usually great, but it's really getting to me right now. He has been a total shithead about me working out and says at least once a week if I would stop working out every day that I would have more time to do house work.
The end of the school semester is near and to be honest I am very excited about it. This semester has kicked my butt and I am ready for a break. I just finished a long research paper, I have a final tomorrow and a final paper due this week. There is another test, and then I think that I am finished for a month. I plan on finding a good book to read that isn't related to school. I plan on doing some hardcore cleaning to get the house ready for the holiday company. I plan on getting in some good runs. so even on my time off I am not planning on getting much time off. Brian has also said that he would like to go to our cabin. But, I'm not sure about that. It snowed pretty good here, I would say at least 4 inches, so I imagine that it snowed even worse up north. Anyone that knows me knows that I hate the snow. I hate winter I hate the cold I pretty much hate it all. Running and working out has become a great source of stress relief for me. My bestest best friend has borrowed me a Jillian Michaels workout dvd and she is kicking my a$$. But I have enjoyed it, and must admit that I bought another Jillian Michaels workout dvd today for my Christmas stocking. I also got the new Hungry Girl cook book. I love the Hungry Girl books! I dont' think that one is making it to my stocking though since I was glancing it over and I have found a few things that I plan on making this week already.
Parker's room remodel is coming along. Brian and his brother put down the new carpet yesterday. The building of the new bed needs to be done yet, probably the key element. Until then I have stuff from that room in about 3 other rooms upstairs and its pretty crowded. I can't get rid of Parker's old bed until the new one is done so I have the contents of 2 bedrooms right now. I also have warp pipes to make and bricks and mystery blocks to paint. There is wall decals to be put up and baseboards to be stained. And only a few weeks to get it done. Then I need to get everything cleaned up and in order so the house looks good for Christmas.
I already hate the snow, and after this weekend I like it even less. Ashley and I were supposed to have some bestie time, but then it snowed and snowed and snowed the whole day and we had to cancel our plans. It did not improve my mood at all and to retaliate I pretty much did nothing. I watched some movies and then went to sleep.
That was pretty much my weekend, new carpet, some painting, movies, sleep, and some working out. Now it's Monday and back to work tonight.
Until next time!
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Nobody Saw
December 2nd, 2012
It's a lovely Sunday morning and since Parker is playing a little WII I figured I would write about my adventures of yesterday. Anyone who pays any attention to me at all knows that yesterday was my very first timed running event. I had to work all night so after work I went home, changed into my running clothes, put some gas in my truck and went to grab Ashley. We headed to the run and signed in. Then it was time to wait.....This is when I started to get nervous. I had been a bit nervous for a few days but this is when it hit me, I was doing it. Not that 2 miles is a big deal for a runner, but it is for me. I only mildly consider myself a runner. I run 5 out of 7 days a week, but that doesn't mean I am good at it. Perhaps after my first 5k I will consider myself more of a runner. As I discovered at the run, anyone can run 2 miles. Anyway, back to the waiting. When it was finally time to get in the starting spot Ashley and I stood next to eachother. Some guy started talking, but a bit into it I could no longer hear him over everyone else talking. So I turned on my music and just let my mind go. We did the national anthem and then it was time. The front of the pack started moving and then I was going. Just letting my feet do the talking. My music was pounding and my feet were moving and I was seeing the people all around me moving with me. I have done walks before but being in a pack of people that are running is a totally different feeling. These people have a place to be they aren't just leisurely walking about. I could actually see Ashley for a little while. Then about 5 minutes in I realized I was going too fast and I had to slow my pace.
Fast forward I round the last corner and I can see the end. I realize this is it. All the training I have done thus far has lead to this moment. The moment I cross my first finish line. I saw people lining the side of the road, all the people that had come to cheer on their runners. And just as I crossed the fininsh line I realized that none of those people were there to cheer me on. Of course Ashley was out there finishing up her 5 miles, but there was noone on the side of the road cheering me on as I finished my first run. I have to admit, this realization hit me pretty hard, I knew there wasn't going to be anyone I knew Brian was at home in bed and I knew that Parker was at my sister's house. But for some reason some little part of me had hoped that Brian would have changed his mind.
It was an awesome feeling, knowing that I had done what I had set out to do, and noone saw me do it. I have to give a huge shout out to my bestie Ashley, without her I never would have done it! My official finish time was 26:41. I had set a goal of finishing in 30 minutes, so I did indeed beat my goal and I was feeling pretty good about it until I looked at all the finishing times and realized that I am slow. I talked to a guy that Brian knows after the run and he ran the 2 miles with his kids, and he never practiced even once, and he ran it in 19:38. So then I felt like crud. And it didn't matter anymore that noone saw. And to make matters even worse, they spelt my name wrong in the official timing results. My last name is 3 letters long and I ended up being Victoria Gay!!!! On one hand, I guess that this unassociates me with my ex husband, but on the other hand, Victoria Gay, REALLY?!?! Don't get me wrong, I am in no way against anyone that is gay in any way at all, however, I can't imagine going through life with the last name, and now everyone that looks at those results will get a good laugh at me.
Enough of the self pity, so I didn't do the greatest in time, so they spelt my name wrong and everyone can get a good laugh. I got my finish line picture with my best friend and it feels great! My first run in my year of runs is complete! After the run, I dropped Ashley back off at home and then went to my sister's to pick up Parker. Then we went home and I took a much needed shower, grabbed some lunch with Parker and Brian, took Brian back home, and Parker and I met Ashley and her super great son Ayden at the local coffee shop for some cookie decorating. We had a great time decorating cookies, even though the competition for best decorators, boys vs. girls, was declared a tie. We came home with some yummy cookies to eat. Any time hanging out with Ashley and Ayden is a good time though, I love it so much that she lives close again! Our sons get along great even though they are a few years apart. It is so interesting watching them interact with eachother. Ayden will make a great big brother some day when Ashley and Jay have more children. He is very helpful whenever Parker needs assistance, but of course when it's game time it's every boy for himself.
Just in case you were wondering, I never got a "congratualtions" or "I am proud of you" or anything of the sort from Brian. He asked how I did and then kind of went back to what he was doing and that was the end of it. But in the end, I didn't do it for him, I did it for me. And I did it, that's all that matters. I will keep training and working hard.
Color My New Year 5k Run countdown begins!!! 30 days......
Until next time!
It's a lovely Sunday morning and since Parker is playing a little WII I figured I would write about my adventures of yesterday. Anyone who pays any attention to me at all knows that yesterday was my very first timed running event. I had to work all night so after work I went home, changed into my running clothes, put some gas in my truck and went to grab Ashley. We headed to the run and signed in. Then it was time to wait.....This is when I started to get nervous. I had been a bit nervous for a few days but this is when it hit me, I was doing it. Not that 2 miles is a big deal for a runner, but it is for me. I only mildly consider myself a runner. I run 5 out of 7 days a week, but that doesn't mean I am good at it. Perhaps after my first 5k I will consider myself more of a runner. As I discovered at the run, anyone can run 2 miles. Anyway, back to the waiting. When it was finally time to get in the starting spot Ashley and I stood next to eachother. Some guy started talking, but a bit into it I could no longer hear him over everyone else talking. So I turned on my music and just let my mind go. We did the national anthem and then it was time. The front of the pack started moving and then I was going. Just letting my feet do the talking. My music was pounding and my feet were moving and I was seeing the people all around me moving with me. I have done walks before but being in a pack of people that are running is a totally different feeling. These people have a place to be they aren't just leisurely walking about. I could actually see Ashley for a little while. Then about 5 minutes in I realized I was going too fast and I had to slow my pace.
Fast forward I round the last corner and I can see the end. I realize this is it. All the training I have done thus far has lead to this moment. The moment I cross my first finish line. I saw people lining the side of the road, all the people that had come to cheer on their runners. And just as I crossed the fininsh line I realized that none of those people were there to cheer me on. Of course Ashley was out there finishing up her 5 miles, but there was noone on the side of the road cheering me on as I finished my first run. I have to admit, this realization hit me pretty hard, I knew there wasn't going to be anyone I knew Brian was at home in bed and I knew that Parker was at my sister's house. But for some reason some little part of me had hoped that Brian would have changed his mind.
It was an awesome feeling, knowing that I had done what I had set out to do, and noone saw me do it. I have to give a huge shout out to my bestie Ashley, without her I never would have done it! My official finish time was 26:41. I had set a goal of finishing in 30 minutes, so I did indeed beat my goal and I was feeling pretty good about it until I looked at all the finishing times and realized that I am slow. I talked to a guy that Brian knows after the run and he ran the 2 miles with his kids, and he never practiced even once, and he ran it in 19:38. So then I felt like crud. And it didn't matter anymore that noone saw. And to make matters even worse, they spelt my name wrong in the official timing results. My last name is 3 letters long and I ended up being Victoria Gay!!!! On one hand, I guess that this unassociates me with my ex husband, but on the other hand, Victoria Gay, REALLY?!?! Don't get me wrong, I am in no way against anyone that is gay in any way at all, however, I can't imagine going through life with the last name, and now everyone that looks at those results will get a good laugh at me.
Enough of the self pity, so I didn't do the greatest in time, so they spelt my name wrong and everyone can get a good laugh. I got my finish line picture with my best friend and it feels great! My first run in my year of runs is complete! After the run, I dropped Ashley back off at home and then went to my sister's to pick up Parker. Then we went home and I took a much needed shower, grabbed some lunch with Parker and Brian, took Brian back home, and Parker and I met Ashley and her super great son Ayden at the local coffee shop for some cookie decorating. We had a great time decorating cookies, even though the competition for best decorators, boys vs. girls, was declared a tie. We came home with some yummy cookies to eat. Any time hanging out with Ashley and Ayden is a good time though, I love it so much that she lives close again! Our sons get along great even though they are a few years apart. It is so interesting watching them interact with eachother. Ayden will make a great big brother some day when Ashley and Jay have more children. He is very helpful whenever Parker needs assistance, but of course when it's game time it's every boy for himself.
Just in case you were wondering, I never got a "congratualtions" or "I am proud of you" or anything of the sort from Brian. He asked how I did and then kind of went back to what he was doing and that was the end of it. But in the end, I didn't do it for him, I did it for me. And I did it, that's all that matters. I will keep training and working hard.
Color My New Year 5k Run countdown begins!!! 30 days......
Until next time!
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