Just Peachy

 So, things lately have been pretty frustrating. In case you don't know, my ex husband and I are currently going through a custody battle for our son. He got remarried in August, and in one of our court hearings, the judge told us that if it were up to him he would place Parker in the house where the "parents" are married. Let's ignore the fact that they have only been together 2 years vs. the just shy of 4 years that Brian and I have been together. Also the fact that they have moved 4 times in those 2 years and I own my own house. Or the fact that Brian and I both have stable jobs, whereas Chris has changed jobs so many times I honestly don't even know where he works and his new wife just changed jobs right before they got married. But his whole reason for pushing the issue now that he is remarried is because I work 3rd shift and I couldn't find someone to sit at my house for the little overlap time there is between when I leave the house and when Brian gets home from work. So I take Parker to Brian's parents shortly before he goes to bed and Brian picks him up there after he gets done with work, takes him home, puts him in bed, and gets him to school in the morning. Parker himself has told me that he doesn't even wake up when Brian picks him up. His words "Mom, I fall asleep at Larry and Donna's and I wake up in my Thomas bed." So it's not like he loses any sleep or anything. And besides that, I know of many kids who have to get up at 530 in the morning to go to a sitter's so their parents can go to work, and apparently this is better than what I do? Anyway..... Chris is pitching a big fit because Brian and I don't have a wedding date set. Really? What difference does it make? Because I made a mistake and married him quickly and he chose to jump into another marriage, this makes me the bad person? No offense, but I think he is dumb. Ok, maybe I do mean offense, I am not a big fan of his.

  Honestly, if Brian and I were to break up it would be more complicated than if Chris were to get a divorce. Besides me owning my own house, Brian and I own a cabin together. It is in both of our names, we can't just walk away from eachother and be done with it. Also the two trucks that are in both of our names.....The legal issues of us splitting up would be more complex than Chris getting a divorce, they own nothing together! Brian bought me a brand new truck, he makes the payments on my truck, he isn't going anywhere! You don't buy people things like that if you intend on walking away and still being stuck with the payments for a truck that you didn't pick out!!!! So yes, we aren't married yet, and I'm not sure how long we will be engaged, but it really doesn't bother me. I know we have a solid relationship and I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that. Although, I do still have my exes last name because I refuse to take back my maiden name, and that name will be changed before I get my associates degree. I absolutely refuse to have my exes last name on my college degree!!

   Other than the frustrations of dealing with all of this custody stuff, things in general are ok I suppose. I did have a set back that upset me though. I went shopping and Brian asked me what I bought and I told him I got his Christmas present. And he's like, oh I guess that means I have to get you something then. I was like, really, you weren't going to get me anything? So a few minutes later he asks me what I want for Christmas. Now mind you, this is after a full day of deer hunting, drinking, and playing cards with the guys. Focus here on the drinking. He wasn't drunk, but he had enough that he was much more open with his opinions than normal. So I told him I want a new pair of running shoes for Christmas. The ones I have are ok, but since I like running and want to stick with it I want a good pair. And also Ashley and I are doing a color run New Year's Day so after that my shoes will be covered in paint and I will probably need new ones for sure. So after I tell him I want new running shoes he goes " what if I don't support your running, what if my intentions are to keep you fat?" I was so shocked. I actually stood with my mouth open completly speechless. I understand where he is coming from, since he quit smoking he has gained a lot of weight and he fears if I lose weight and get good looking again that I will leave him because he is big. This is completly not the case, I don't want to lose weight so I look good for other people, I want to lose weight so I feel good about myself. The fact that after almost 4 years he would feel this way bothers me. And that he would want me to stay fat so that he feels more secure. Where do guys get this stuff?!?!

    I am trying not to let this statement bother me and he did say that I could get the new running shoes since I made it very clear that I respect where he is coming from, but it does not change a thing I will continue to run because it makes me happy and running when I am stressed is better than eating when i am stressed. So I guess this means I shouldn't count on him to be at my runs cheering me on (he has already said he will not be attending my very first running event which is this weekend).

   On another note, I started Parker's big surprise Christmas present this weekend. A few days ago his play room was filled with toys and white. Now it's empty and blue. He is moving from his old bedroom into his playroom because it is bigger and he is outgrowing his toddler bed. So I am completly redoing the playroom before he moves into it and I hope it turns out great. His old room is Thomas the Train, which he has finally outgrown after a 3 year obsession. His new room is going to be Super Mario Bros themes complete with warp pipes and mystery blocks.....pictures will follow after it's done. The tricky part about this is getting it done without him knowing. We bought new carpet, and it's currently in the roll in the hallway, and he didn't even ask about it. But, his playroom door has never been shut since we have moved in, so when he comes home from his dad's and the door is shut and all his toys are in the big open hallway room, I am sure he is going to question that. Time to come up with some excuses...... The new carpet is going in either this weekend or next, and the new bed is being built after that, so I need to have all the painting and wood staining done in the next week. So why am I sitting here blogging instead of woring? Because I just ate lunch and I am settling my tummy before I get out for my run. I have a two mile run this weekend that I am going to rock and I can't wait!!! I have already shown Ashley the scrapbook that I bought for all of my running stuff. My goal is to run in an event every month for the next year and next weekend starts that quest. So I bought a new scrapbook for my new journey and I am so excited to start filling it!!!!!

   That's all I have for now, time to drink some water and lace up my sneakers and try out the new running shirt I bought on Friday. Oh yeah, one more thing. I went shopping on Friday and the only things I bought for myself were two running tanks and a long sleeve running pullover. This is strange for me, a few months ago I totally would have bought the 3 pound box of Gobstoppers that I saw, but I just looked at it and passed it by. I used to look forward to what pair of sparkly heels I was going to buy next, now I look forward to what pair of running shoes I want to get next. I do have to admit though, once I lose some weight, there is a pair of Jennifer Lopez boots that is so going to be in my closet!

Until next time!