Journey my ass, this is a war!

           At this point most people are aware that  I am on a small journey in my life. It's a journey to a healthy lifestyle. Of course the first goal is to lose weight, but in losing weight I am trying to get into a healthy lifestyle. I want to live a long and healthy life and see my son grow up. I also want my son to grow up learning a healthy life style so that when he is out on his own one day it is natural for him.

      But let's get real here, I want to lose weight! People, I want to get back the body I used to have. I didn't appreciate it then, and clearly I didn't deserve it. But now I am taking this sh*t seriously and I want what I used to have. In saying this, I have learned some things.

.....first off, when I say "journey", this makes it sound like something fun and exciting...that's total bullsh*t!!!!! This is not fun, this is not exciting, this is not anything good! This is a war, it ain't no journey!

Secondly, this war involves a lot of sacrifice. Everyday I have to make choices. I have to choose if I am going to eat the food that I love or the food that is going to get me what I want. Folks, these two things are not the same, not even close. Everyday I have to choose between relaxing or getting off my ass and moving. I have to choose between social outings and working out. Last weekend was the perfect example. Memorial Day weekend, it's a time for remembering those who have made the ultimate sacrifice protecting our country. But for most people this means cook outs and drinking and sitting around a fire drinking some more. Going to concerts, eating more junk, drinking more, and I don't mean water, and eating still more crap....Not for me this year! I am happy to announce that I put my booty to work.....

Brian and I put in a fire pit over the weekend....

See those stones around the outside, they weigh 42 pounds a piece. I moved them from the pallet to the shopping cart, then from the cart to the back of my truck, then from the truck into the lawn cart, drove the lawn cart down the hill then moved the stones from the cart to the lawn. See the little stones there, they came in bags that were 50lbs a piece I think. I moved those just as many times. See that ring there? It weighs 64lbs. I moved that too. So, I got my lifting workout in. I also dug about half the hole for the pit. Last year we put in a wall and cement slab for our garden shed, and I couldn't even lift the bags of concrete. No kidding people, I could not pick them up! Now I move this stuff around like nobody's business.

 

Besides helping with all the heavy lifting for our new fire pit, I passed up getting ice cream to go on a 7.5 mile bike ride. I haven't ridden my bike since Parker was just a tiny infant. I decided to get out and ride a little bit, and figured I would just go a mile or two. I figured when I didn't want to ride anymore I would be done. But I just kept going. Before I knew it I had gone over 7 miles and it felt pretty great.

 

On Monday my bestie and I got out and did some hiking. While most people were out at parties and cook outs and things that involve a lot of junk food and drinking, Ashley and I were out hiking. We went to a new place to do some exploring, and I think we are going to end up going back there with the kiddos. We went to Maribel Caves county park, it was pretty great.

 

   So yes, this journey/war SUCKS!!! And I hate that I don't see results every day. I hate that I can't indulge even a little without paying for it. I have a lot of anger and resentment for this war, and the sad part is that I know that it will never be over. I know that even when I have lost the weight, I can't drop my guard. If I let my guard down for even a minute I will start the backslide back to where I am now. It's totally depressing and sometimes overwhelming and makes me want to just quit and resign myself to a life of obesity and unhealthiness. But then, when I really get down to it and think about what I've done I realize a few things. I like to be active. I like running, I like hot yoga, I like hiking, and I like healthy food. Unfortunately I also like junk food and sitting down to watch a good movie.  So even though this war sucks and it will never be over, I will not surrender. I love running and chasing my son, and I want to teach him good habits and I want him to have a healthy life. It makes it all worth it. I will fight this war forever and  I will prevail.

   I know that I love junk food because it's addictive, and eventually I will kick this addiction. Eventually I won't be so mad that everyone else is pigging out and I'm sitting back eating my veggies. Eventually, but not today.....today I am fighting the urge to get a large cookie dough bizzard and eat the whole damn thing.

   Until next time, wish me some will power cuz I need it!